Blog a la Cart

Category: Sanderling

12/52

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“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2016.”

Sunny: So. Very. Jazzed. Egg hunting is thebombdotcom.
Kaki: James and I were slow to get out of bed on Easter Sunday, given nights with a newborn. Courtland stood impatiently at the top of our stairs, catching glimpses of eggs hidden at the bottom, chanting, “I want to hunt. I want to hunt” until we pulled ourselves from our bedroom and let the egg hunt commence.
Sander: Our littlest bunny on his first Easter. 

More details about The 52 Project here. To view all the portraits in the series visit here

My Three Children

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It’s the first holiday weekend without my mother, and we had had plans to be with her on Easter Sunday. Instead, we’re in VT, weathering mud season, and trying to be as low key and low expectations as possible to get me through the weekend. I had a visit from my oldest friend from childhood and her daughters on Friday, and then a visit from my mom’s best friend from childhood on Saturday. It was good, but hard, to be surrounded by people who knew her so well and loved her so much. She meant so much to so many, and while it is so lovely to be reminded of that, it is also so devastating to be reminded of how much we all lost.

The next two months are filled with milestones/holidays/birthdays that are going to be a doozy to confront. I’m trying to face them one at a time. Napping, sunshine, and laughter with my kids are some of the best antidotes (but I’ve got a team of medical professionals helping as well, because I can’t possibly take care of my children if I’m not taking care of myself).

I’m continually grateful to be supported and carried by my loved ones during a time when I need it most. And for naps. Definitely for naps.

And these smiling faces. Holy cow. James and I feel so lucky to call ourselves parents to these three.

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Snuggles with Sander

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Everyone wants in on the infant snugs.

We are clearly not enjoying this baby enough… our little grunty babe. He has the most ridiculous grunt that is unlike any noise his big sisters made as infants. And it is hysterical, and endearing, and so deep and low and ridiculous. Usually it comes when he is first waking up, or right before a monster poop. And it is unique to our Sander (at least in the Cart family).

Oh we are just so stupidly in love with this little one. All of us.

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Sanderling // Two Weeks

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His second week of life will be remembered for six days of being holed up in my bedroom with a fever and a brewing case of mastitis.

The fever started last Sunday night, and despite a trip to the midwives on Monday, we couldn’t pin down its origin until late Thursday evening when a sore left breast finally broke out in extreme hot, red yuck. The fever kept me horizontal pretty much all week, so we slept and nursed and slept and nursed and sweat and slept and nursed and I pumped and pumped and pumped because the infected breast took a big hit supply-wise and Sander eventually refused to nurse on that side.

Fortunately, fever is now gone, infection is clearing, supply is on the rise, and nursing has resumed on both breasts, so we managed to make it out of the house this weekend for a brief trip to the local coffee shop. One day at a time. Step by step. I am wading my way through each thing being thrown my way and trying to not focus on the future or what comes next to keep my anxiety at bay.

Sander remains a stable, happy, healthy, comforting constant through it all.

The temperature dropped this weekend so we were able to dress him in this cozy bear bunting from my mother, who gifted it to us in the hopes that he’d come home from the hospital in it.

“I want that baby warm and snug!” she’d said.

But it was nearly 70 degrees the day we came home with him, so this weekend, we bundled him up and I held him close, and he indeed was warm and snug as his Momar wished.

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11/52

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“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2016.”

Sunny: We’ve got some expert, willing baby-handlers in our midst. Sunny truly cannot get enough of holding him.
Kaki: While Courtland doesn’t have the hours of longevity of her big sister, she is always so enthusiastic to snuggle and cuddle with her brother, too.
Sander: And he’s done a lot of this. Snoozing. Until about 9pm, when he is then awake until 2-3am. But then he gives us a good 4-5 hour stretch of sleep, so worth it? Maybe? In the grand scheme of life with a newborn, severe sleep deprivation is just part of the equation, so we’re rolling with it.

More details about The 52 Project here. To view all the portraits in the series visit here

Sunny & Sander

The Double Big Sister doing what she does best, love her family. In this case, her baby brother. She is so unbelievably sweet with Sanderling. This video reminds me of her with newborn Courtland, when she was only 2! She truly delights in baby handling. On Friday, she didn’t have school, so she spent a hour letting Sander nap on her chest.

Uploading a YouTube video of your newborn can be a great way to preserve memories of their early days. It allows you to share your joy with family and friends who may not be able to visit, and can also serve as a digital time capsule that you can revisit as your child grows up. Check out https://themarketingheaven.com/buy-youtube-likes/ to learn how to get more likes.

Oh my heart.

Sander’s Hospital Stay

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Here’s a peek at our hospital stay with Sander, the same L&D floor where I delivered Courtland. While the circumstances were far more challenging during this postpartum period, the staff rose to the occasion and treated our family with such thoughtful care and tenderness. I am endlessly grateful for the attention and kindness of the nurses during our stay, and my midwives, who carried me this past month in ways that I didn’t know were possible. Their deep commitment to me and this baby were palpable and I wish all women had access to that depth of care and experience. I feel very fortunate to be one of their patients.

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^^My father gifted my mother that bead for her Pandora bracelet on Valentine’s Day morning, before our entire world changed forever only moments later. I wore it around my neck in the three weeks following her death, and during Sander’s birth, as it was the most recent thing her hands had touched and it felt comforting to keep her touch close during a time when I needed it the most.^^

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10/52

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“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2016.”

Sunny: “I never want to stop holding him. He smells so good and I just love him so much.” And it’s true, she hasn’t wanted to put him down. She positively adores him. Not that we’re at all surprised.
Kaki: She loves to pick out his outfit for the day. She and Sunny meticulously lay out each piece in his bassinet, and eagerly help dress him when he’s awake. She is adapting so well to her role as Big Sister. While she’s still a busy four-year old, it’s amazing to see her tenderness with her little brother.
Sander: Such a sweet, mellow, snuggly little babe. He reminds me so much of Courtland as a newborn – with all those wrinkles and that grumpy old man face. But his personality is so similar to Sunny’s disposition at this stage. Relaxed, easy to sooth, peaceful. Such a gift given all that’s going on with me. He is such a gift.

More details about The 52 Project here. To view all the portraits in the series visit here

Sanderling // One Week

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He is officially one week old. And we are truly in the longest, shortest time. He looks so much like his Daddy as a newborn. That forehead and towhead blonde hair!

Here he is donning his Year of the Monkey romper.

Five weeks ago, I posted a photo to Instagram of this romper, and my mom commented on the image from my dad’s account. A first for her. And I am comforted knowing that she saw this piece that I created for her grandson, even though she’ll never get to experience it in person. I feel so deeply connected to this baby, which isn’t always easy with a newborn, and I am certain that my mother has something to do with that.

Happy 1 Week Birth Day, darling Sanderling. We are so glad you’re here.

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It’s been four weeks

They are living pieces of their beloved Momar. She’s been gone four weeks today, and I don’t think I’ll ever stop reaching for the phone to talk to her about her grandchildren. But these faces are carrying me. They keep my head turned forward when all I want to do is go screaming back in time.

She would have loved to see this moment.
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