Blog a la Cart

09.06.08 // 7 years

Still smiling this big and loving this hard seven years later. What a weekend that was. What a life has been built in its wake.

143, James.

BG Summer // 2015

Happy Birthday to my knight in American Eagle cargo shorts circa 1999! He is with the girls in his favorite place in the Universe, engaging in our traditional Labor Day festivities. I’m flying solo at Cartwheel Farm, prepping to shoot a wedding this evening, and then taking the opportunity to organize the bejesus out of our home while it is free of two-legged dependents.

We’re on the brink of a truly hectic and nutty fall where my work load is double its normal size. While I’m sad to not be with my family for James’ birthday or our 7th wedding anniversary, it’s a good moment to have some time to myself before that becomes an impossibility (at least for the next eight weeks).

Admittedly, my dreams of three days of uninterrupted sleep and a schedule wholly my own have been thrown by a dog *coughHannacough* with explosive diarrhea and a pig on the loose (she was retrieved with some effort and copious amounts of food earlier today). Such is the life that James and I have built, never a dull moment, and always other living creatures to care for and love (even when they are leaking bodily fluids and defying your every wish). We can’t imagine life any other way.

And here are some snaps from our trip to the Poconos a few weekends prior with my dearest friend from childhood and her family. It was a beautiful weekend and a joy to see the next generation of girls begin to build their own friendships and memories.

Poultney // 2015

Three weekends ago (where the hell has this summer gone?!), we once again ventured north to our friend’s house in Poultney, VT for some fun on the lake. We had such a blast the summer prior, that we decide to extend the trip to two days, and it was every bit as smile-inducing as we’d anticipated. Tubing. Boating. Swimming. S’more-making. Life is good on Lake St. Catherine.

The Third

This was written the first week of July 2015…

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We’re 20 years old and 2 weeks into “hanging out” and “watching movies,” awkward college-speak for dating, and I ask him, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”.  He responds, very truthfully and without a hint of irony, “A Dad.”

And that has been the truest thing I’ve known about James in the 12 years since. And he excels at being a Dad. A true partner. In fact, I’d say he shoulders the larger share of the parenting responsibility in our home, and he does so willingly and with his signature quiet humor.

And thus, it comes as no surprise that James has been on campaign for Baby Number Three since Courtland entered the world on August 10, 2011. As the oldest of four boys, he grew up in and loves a big family. Without pressure, but with a clear enthusiasm, he has always been excited about the prospect of us having our own large family.

I, on the other hand, have been truly ambivalent about the notion of a third child. We have such a lovely family dynamic with our two girls in our little house in Vermont, why complicate life with additional life? The finances! The lifestyle! The social dynamics! The bodily fluids! The sleeplessness! The zone defense! The world’s overpopulated! The fact that I’m now in my 30s! I couldn’t wrap my head around all the changes three would mean.

But then the girls learned to wipe their own butts. And (for the most part), sleep through the night. And dress themselves. And are the most delightful little humans with such a wonderful bond and connection that I began to see how another child might be possible. I’d catch glimpses of how they would help entertain a baby, and provide support that was lacking when they were new. And then they began asking for a baby. TWO babies, actually. A brother AND a sister. And the thought of my sweet Courtland as a big sister was one of the most pivotal in helping solidify my cautious interest in adding to our family.

Additionally, while I feel very much whole, as though our family is complete in its current state, when I would close my eyes and envision life 20 years from now, I would see more than just the four of us. I saw us with more adult children – a built in party, support network, and core. I’m not one of those women that leaves L&D yearning for a repeat of what I just experienced. Very much the opposite. But I am a woman who believes that my children, this family, will always be my life’s greatest joy and accomplishment. The thought of adding to that is what finally tipped the scales.

In December, the goalie came out of the net, as it were, and while I remained equivocal, I was willing to see what would happen. I noticed that with each passing month that my period would arrive, I would feel a hint of sadness, which signaled that this was the right course.

On Friday, July 3rd, over the holiday weekend at James’ parents’ cabin in the Poconos, I peed on a stick and two minutes later was greeted with a blue plus sign.

A third.

A third pregnancy.

A third baby.

A third child.

A third.

The Third.

I have been riding a high of excitement since. Yes, there are moments where I can hardly believe it. Yes, I loathe the predictable first trimester sinus infection that I was struck down with within days (just like I was with Addison and Courtland). I feel rather physically miserable (just as I did with both girls), and yet it is so liberating and wonderful to carry a third child. My emotional and mental health is so much more balanced and calm and happy. Sometimes, I also buy flower online made of hemp extracts which is a great anxiety relief and provides a sense of calmness.

With the first pregnancy, well, EVERYTHING is overwhelming and new and scary and exciting and WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?! And with the second there was constant worry about the beloved first born and what would the arrival of a baby do to her and how is it possible to have room in your heart to love equally more than one child?

But now? With the third? I’m not afraid of all the bat shit craziness my body is experiencing. That’s par for the course. I’m not scared of how James or I or our children will adapt to another family member, because the four of us are living proof of just how capable the human heart is to love deeply and unconditionally multiple children. Sure, it’s going to be madness and if I dwell on it too much I’m a bit daunted by the mechanics of parenting three children with two working parents. But I never doubt our ability to adapt and make it happen. And I never doubt our ability to love and welcome new life into our family.

James and I can do that. We have done that. And we couldn’t be more excited to do it again.

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I am due in early March 2016. This week marks my transition into the 2nd trimester. Here’s hoping that I feel a much needed surge in energy now that I’ve made it through the first three months.

Chicago // 2015

James and I spent a rare five days sans children this past week. We journeyed to Chicago, James’ inaugural trip, for a friends’ wedding at the Field Museum (think: partying with a T Rex named Sue). Lots of exploring and walking and lounging and going and doing whatever we pleased, whenever we pleased. A rare occurrence in our daily lives as parents. And man, Chicago sure is a great city. It was a lovely trip indeed.

Then we ventured a little further east to Ann Arbor, Michigan where we spent our days snuggling a newborn and spending time with friends during that special and unique period of life when one’s family is in transition and life is so demanding and in upheaval and yet so blissfully simple and precious. More photos from that experience soon.

Father’s Day // 2015

because you remind me of everything there is in this world to love…

Happy Father’s Day to all the papas helping us to love better and stronger, but especially to our James, and our Doda, and our Ranger.

Memorial Day // 2015

Our friends from Baltimore visited us over the long weekend, and in addition to the Minnie Mouse extravaganza, we had a wonderful weekend sharing our slice of VT/Northern Berkshires with them. We concluded the weekend with a picnic dinner at the summit of Mt. Greylock. We could not have asked for better weather or company.

Hancock Shaker Village // 2015

More images from my birthday excursion to Hancock Shaker Village, because so much cute! So much floral! So much love!

Serenade Surprise

I had relatively simple expectations for my 32nd birthday. I told James that I wanted to snuggle baby animals with the kids, and attend a concert in Northampton as our adult adventure. I had to work a long day on Wednesday, my actual birthday, so I took Tuesday afternoon off to visit Hancock Shaker Village. This followed a lovely dinner out with two of my girlfriends on Monday night that kicked off the celebrations.

By the time I arrived to my office on Wednesday morning, I felt like my birthday had been appropriately marked and was feeling quite content and ready to dive into a day of work. Upon opening my office door, I was greeted by this magical sight:

I am totally going to recreate this wonderful surprise for a loved one. My colleagues filled my office with balloons and I’ve felt like I’m working in a playful kid’s ball pit ever since. Such a simple, yet impactful, dose of fun.

But the biggest surprise was yet to come. My office picks names out of a hat to assign birthday celebrations. Everyone is responsible for one colleague’s birthday. Typically, we all sign a birthday card and gather together to eat cake, so I assumed that the 4pm hold on my calendar was for such an occasion. And it was, but it had a festive twist thanks to the coordination of my colleague, whose husband is in the all male a capella group that James  was a part of while in college. The Williams College Springstreeters are the gift that keep on giving. I was serenaded on my 21st birthday and at our wedding reception by this group, and now, eleven years later, on my 32nd birthday.

A mere 30 seconds before heading into the conference room, I overhead a colleague ask another person on the floor if they were going to “watch” – I didn’t have a handle on the context but it was truly my only tip off that something unique might be about to go down. You can see from my face in the video that I was beyond surprised and thrilled and pink faced. Particularly, since they sang “Let’s Get It On” in front of my office *ahem!*. (Apparently, it was the only “love song” that could be coordinated on such limited rehearsal. I am appreciative to my colleagues who didn’t find it too uncomfortable to watch a group of college students sing a seduction song with their co-worker’s husband. *insertembarrassedemojihere*)

I feel very very fortunate every day, but this week has been a wonderful reminder of the depth and breadth of that gratitude.

Easter // 2015

This weekend, we headed to Cape Cod to celebrate Easter with Momar and Doda, and Auntie Kimmy and her beau, Jake. We arrived bearing embroidered eggs that James and I crafted side by side last week. Oh yes, even James embroidered. It’s a time consuming project but the results are fairly fantastic. Somehow, I did not document this most recent batch with the dSLR camera, so the iPhone snap above will have to suffice.

^^Kaki rocked bunny overall extenders courtesy of my 80s-childhood. So brilliant!^^

^^Sunny enjoyed Momar’s extensive American Girl Doll collection.^^

^^There was racing around the back yard and hysterical facial expressions.^^

^^Lots of visiting and snuggling and giggling. So much giggling.^^

^^We dyed eggs with some natural dyes from our local food coop. The colors were far more brilliant than I’d predicted. We let the girls color on the eggs in crayon before dying.^^

^^While chilly and windy, the sun was shining all weekend long (which was not the case in Vermont), so we enjoyed an outdoor egg hunt…

^^… and time strolling an empty beach on Sunday. On Saturday, we spent lots of time visiting and playing outside, and then all headed to see Cinderella and swoon at the wonder of her blue ball gown.^^

^^We snuck in some family portraits, too. And the minivan proved her worth during her inaugural Cart family road trip. It’s like traveling in a space ship. So much room. So much ease. I heart minivan life. And I am not ashamed to admit it.^^