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Gladden

On Saturday, this happened…

After driving nine hours in traffic and rain down to Maryland, spending an all-too-brief night with friends in Baltimore, rising before the sun, driving another two hours to the Eastern Shore, then spending the morning and lunch hour with these characters (another post on that glorious occasion forthcoming), we finally met our newest family member.

We named her Gladden, after the Williams College dorm where James and I were introduced a decade ago. Fitting, as she was instantly taken with James’ Williams hat.

Gladdy, The Flatty.

She wears it well.

We have been shocked by the relative ease with which she’s entered our household. We were ready for a long first night of puppy yips and cries, and many a run outside for bladder relief, and yet she barely protested when put in her crate, and then slept until the kids’ rose the next morning. And that trend has stayed constant (*knockonwood*). It’s still a ridiculous amount of work, yes, but we were expecting that. So anything that is not nearly as overwhelming as we’d planned is more than appreciated.

Of the handful of accidents that she’s had in the house, they’ve all been the fault of us silly grown ups, who didn’t understand that her sudden outbursts of whines were because she needed to relieve herself. And yes, she already love the tennis ball. Ursa would be so proud. We didn’t regret surprising her with pet box subs, you can see how much she enjoyed it and now I can’t wait for the second one.

The girls are completely smitten with her. Sunny gets a tad overwhelmed by her boisterous licks and wiggles, but Kaki lets her chew on her hair and they crawl around together like litter mates.

The only family member less than sure of this new situation is our Hanna. She has not warmed to the puppy, so we are taking it slow and doing our best to show Hanna that this little fluff ball is now part of our pack, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t love her just as much. I’m disappointed about this obstacle, but I guess it couldn’t all be so easy.

Gladdy is warm, and snuggly, and wriggly, and sweet, and has the most amazing puppy smell. Upon holding her for the first time, Sunny cooed, “Oh mommy, she smells so good.” Man, puppies and infants really are delectable. It’s not just me that wants to gobble them whole.

I’ve found myself so filled with childlike joy and happiness being around this little one, and yet simultaneously heartbroken and sad by the absence of our Ursa. Gladdy reminds me so very much of Ursa as a pup, and yet, she’s so distinctly not Ursa. So distinctly her own. And so, the permanence of Ursa’s passing sinks in further. And here I go writing once again about life’s paradoxes and juxtapositions…

Five minutes into meeting her, Sunny declared, “I love her so much. Already!”

It’s amazing how your heart learns to make room so very quickly. Welcome to our family, Gladdy. We are so thrilled you’re ours.

41/52

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

Sunny: NOT a morning person. Apple does not fall far from this tree.
Kaki: A rare moment of seriousness. 

More details about The 52 Project here. To view all the portraits in the series visit here.

Jamescapes // 14

Seriously? So good. Happy weekend, y’all! James and I are Maryland bound to pick up our newest family member. Expect many a photo next week.

Currently Reading

Yeah, it’s kinda like this:

I know you don’t want anyone to blow sunshine in your face, but I also don’t want to paint my parenting experience to be nothing but one poop-covered disaster after another. The problem is that anyone can easily describe the stressful things; the good things, on the other hand, are much more difficult to illustrate. Difficult only because they’re so deep and transcendent and immeasurable. I can tell you about the love, and the joy, and the beauty, but even those words fail to contain how I feel about my children. After all, I’ve used “love” when discussing my favorite steakhouse, and “joy” when talking about the Ravens winning the Superbowl last year, and I even said “that was a beauty” yesterday when I successfully banked a ball of paper off the wall and into the trashcan from halfway across the room. I’ve wasted all of these words on food and sports, and now I’m left with nothing in the English language that can even come close to communicating what it means to me to be a father.

For my fellow parents, you know this to be the truest thing in the Universe. But it’s worth the full read here.

Around the Farm // 19

A few favorite moments from around the farm this fall.

1. They compete for use of “Momar’s Towel,” a towel my mother gifted to James. Sometimes they settle with sharing.
2. Our neighbor’s barns give Ashley and James some props. Rad horses, indeed.
3. Cookie monster in full effect.
4. Oh hey, Edwina!
5. Tough life. Hammock swinging among the Vermont foliage.
6. The babies of the family don’t know what’ll hit them when our newest addition arrives tomorrow and overthrows their birth order.

40/52

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

Sunny: Poor kid broke her toe this week (walking, and tripping over herself. Of course). The upside is that she and I spent Wednesday afternoon (after a morning of sitting in waiting rooms and posing for many an X-ray) spending some quality time together. We went out for manicures, and lunch, and ice cream, and then we napped for over two hours side by side. I fall more and more in love with this person everyday. She never ceases to amaze me with her kindness, thoughtfulness, and tender heart.
Kaki: If Courtland were allowed to live in our cars, she would. She delights in playing in them as we unload from a day of work and school, and protests bitterly when we finally extricate her from their interior.

More details about The 52 Project here. To view all the portraits in the series visit here.

Holy Vermont, Batman!

He just gets better and better. For more recent images resulting from an early morning hike with Hanna, visit James’ portfolio here. If you’re ever interested in a print of his work, don’t hesitate to email us.

On Forever

Aw, look at that handsome fella!

Just a couple hours before I snapped these photos we were arguing like cats and dogs and I wanted to wipe that smug grin right off his face… Sweet sweet marriage. What a rollercoaster, eh?

Fortunately, we had an evening with amazing friends, and amazing love, and amazing amazingness to heal all tensions between us (i.e. the stresses of coordinating care taking for our children and other assorted dependents so that we could spend 12 hours away from them, while I had to work all weekend leading up to our departure, i.e. the ideal conditions for a marriage shit storm. But we survived! And so did the dependents! SUCCESS ALL AROUND!)

The wedding locale was like a New England fantasy in the flesh: golden foliage decorating the trees and blanketing the ground as a babbling brook rolled by rustic stone fences and assorted vintage barns.

Fall had puked magic all over the Berkshires for these two amazing souls – and it was perfect.

Every detail was effortlessly and sublimely executed, from the garlands strung around the barn beams, to the infused sake “love potion,” a recipe created especially for Amanda & Dave, bottled in miniature mason jars and gifted to each of the guests, to the non-stop live music and ridiculous talent that touched every moment of the celebration. It was enchanting.

I even got a chance to DIY mid-celebration, as the guests made paper airplanes during the ceremony which were thrown at its conclusion as Dave and Amanda walked down the aisle as husband and wife. I collected the airplanes after the ceremony, and strung together a garland for the barn during cocktail hour.

Yes, picture me, huddled in the corner of a barn with a needle and thread in one hand and a cocktail in the other, madly DIYing. Sounds about right, eh? I may have stabbed myself with the needle and bled on a number of the planes… I put my blood and sweat into this, folks.

James dressed in his autumn best, including the Brooks Brothers madras pants from our own rehearsal dinner, his grandfather’s tweed jacket, and his brand new Brackish bowtie made out of real pheasant feathers. He blended in brilliantly.

Two of our college friends officiated the ceremony, and they were hilarious and heartfelt, personal and moving, an inspired combination of humor and sentimentality, lightheartedness and sincerity. I loved every moment of it.

We all cried like babies, men more than included in that count, and I felt all the frustration and anger melt away as I reached for James’ hand and was reminded of why he and I had embarked on a similar journey five years ago. Why we are so very blessed to have one another, and these people, and these moments, these beautiful, picture perfect dreams that we get to live as reality juxtaposed against the chaos of daily life.

During the ceremony, one of the officiates explained that he had sat down with Dave and Amanda separately to talk about their relationship, one another, and why they were getting into this crazy thing called marriage. Amanda said, “People keep asking me whether I know what I’m getting myself into. Whether I really understand that this is going to be like forever.” Then Amanda said, “But what’s sad about the whole thing is that forever is so short. All I really have to give to Dave is a single life. And so when people say—are you ready to give everything? I always say, it’s all I got.”

How very true that is. Thank you for the reminder, Amanda & Dave.

40 Days

It’s been 40 days.

40 days since our Ursa left us. 40 days since I truly understood the meaning of loss. 40 days that my heart has been aching.

In many religions, 40 days is the traditional mourning period. And yet I spent yesterday evening curled in a ball, crying for my sweet Bear as though she’d left us just that morning.

I miss her more than I could ever put to words.

Appropriately, today Theron (of the Why We Rescue series) shared the following:

If you do anything today, in the very least, point your camera towards what you love. It goes so fast. 

How desperately true his words are. And how fortunate I am to have done so, so very often, with my Ursa.

I miss her. Always. I love her. Forever.

Smilebooth // a+d

This weekend we celebrated the marriage of two incredible friends. It was by far the most personal, moving ceremony and celebration that I have ever attended. And every detail was effortlessly and beautifully executed. Quite the occasion!

I will share more but I’m still licking my wounds from having just a little too much fun. I blame the infused sake bar.

We danced our faces off and heavily utilized The Smilebooth. What is it about a photobooth that makes everyone so stuipidly, gloriously happy?! I’m still grinning like a fool. We love you, Amanda + Dave. Thanks for a perfect evening.