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7 years

Today, Ursa is seven years old.

My Solstice Baby.

My Ursa Major.

My Black Bear.

She may not see another birthday. But I will not focus on that. Not today. Today I will focus on what a resilient, strong, spirited, happy, inky stinky Black Beauty she is.

Once all her fur grows back in, it’ll be tough to tell that this dog ever lost a limb. She’s literally racing around as though she’s always navigated the world with three appendages.

This weekend she swam for the first time post-surgery. She beat a 3 year old black lab on a race to the tennis ball over and over again. The hurt leg slowed her down. Its absence has given her strength.

She’s a fighter, this one. And we will continue to provide her with tennis balls and popcorn and bodies of water until the day she shows us that she’s not up for the challenge.

Happy Birthday, Boo. May your day be filled with as much ball chasing, superman diving, butt scratching, carrot-eating fun as you can stomach.

I love you. I love you for teaching me how to navigate this world. For being a constant companion in my adult life. For loving unconditionally. And for teaching me to do the same. For teaching me how to become a mother. I love you.

Photos: Courtesy of Ashley Weeks Cart

Summer is…

Lazy evenings on the porch, rocking in a rocking chair, waiting for the air to cool.

Watching the girls play in small inflatable pools, wet grass caked across bare bums, fingers like raisins, the atmosphere filled with squeals and giggles and the splashing of water.

Icy lemonade.

Toes in the grass.

Frozen grapes.

Skin sticky. Body heavy. Mind cloudy. Feeling no greater relief than that of an ice cube on the brow and closed eyelids.

During these moments I feel a sense of calm. A moment when the world stops and everything feels exactly as it should, however briefly.

Nothing but an ordinary day. The simplicity of the moment.

I note to James that these daily vignettes are some of the happiest of our lives. Our children so young and free from the burden of experience. Our parents alive and well. Our family life just beginning in our very own home. Even in the face of Ursa’s illness, I feel fortunate. She’s here. Her spirit is back. We are together.

I wanted to remember this feeling. For always. So I’m writing it down. So that the next time life throws a curve ball (because it will, it always will) I can hide out in the memory of these words, of these moments.

Courtland’s babysitter, a woman who has woven her way into the fabric of our lives, found out on Friday that her husband, a man of only 38 years, has leukemia. This is the very same woman who suddenly and tragically lost a child when he was only two years old. This is a woman who has had to bear much more than any one soul should ever have to endure, and yet the curve balls keep coming. And her attitude and spirit shine in spite of it all.

The least I can do is stop to appreciate all that is good and right and joyful. While I have it. While we all have it. Because it is always there, even through the clouded lens of heartache, often easiest to feel during what is disguised as the mundane experience of daily life.

Vagina. Can’t say it? Don’t legislate it.

I assume that most of you have heard about the State Representative, Lisa Brown, who was banned from speaking on the Michigan House Floor after uttering the word “vagina” in a debate about the state’s lastest anti-abortion bill.

Voldemort and Vagina, things that shall not be named.

It’s all so ridiculous (and disturbing), I don’t even know where to start, so here’s a quick summation of my favorite quotes on the event:

Abortions, for those of you who are a little unclear about the topic, kind of involve the vagina a lot. A whole lot. The entire procedure is unarguably incredibly vaginal. – hello giggles

Byrum and Brown joined several of their female colleagues in voicing their vehement opposition to Michigan’s anti-abortion bill, a steaming pile of misogyny that would criminalize all abortions after 20 weeks’ gestation in all cases (so, if you had some terribly severe birth defects, too bad, sister — you carry that dead baby until that dead baby decides to be born) and contains no exceptions for the woman’s health. – jezebel

We don’t know what the free use of anatomical terms could lead to, but some possibilities are: maturity, correctness, tolerance and, of course, anarchy. – BUST

To hear some talk about it, you’d think I’d said a dirty word. One of my counterparts, Representative Mike Callton said he couldn’t even bear to repeat what I had said because it was “so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.” Callton, by the way, holds a bachelor’s degree in biology. Imagine what he went through in anatomy class. – Lisa Brown

Monday night, Eve Ensler flew to Michigan to direct a performance of The Vagina Monologues on the Capitol steps. Lisa Brown was among the performers. VAGINA! VAGINA! VAGINA!

I have some knitting to do.

And I’ll leave you with this story.

Recently, Addison was climbing into her car seat and must have landed on the buckle of the chair just wrong as we heard her declare, “OUCH! That hurt my vagina!”

Some non-family members overheard her declaration with raised eyebrows. Not surprising since most people do not like to talk about it. Fortunately there are places like www.vtightensafely.com where you can read about helpful information and discussions about the vagina and provide a good way for women to gain some perspective about themselves..

James and I, however, patted ourselves on the back. James has insisted that our daughters grow up using proper anatomical names for body parts, and while that makes for an amazing party trick when Addison accurately identifies her femur or cranium, more importantly, we hope that it will empower our daughters, and those around them, to be comfortable speaking about their anatomical, physical sex.

It looks like we need to send our 3-year old to the Michigan House floor.

______________________________________________________

UPDATED

An email from my father, titled:  The quest for anatomic precision…

Hi guys!

I was wondering how long it would take before you posted your latest blog ;-)

Where do all these crazy people come from?!

However, it prompted me to raise a minor concern I have had about your use of the term “vagina” as almost a catch-all for the entirety of the female reproductive system. It was not actually her vagina that Sunny hurt sitting on the buckle, it was her vulva, i.e., her external genitalia. In many of your references historically, I believe that is what you meant to refer to – after all, it’s tough to actually “see” a vagina without a speculum or the like! Perhaps you are not ready to go there yet with Sunny, as in the “inside” nature of the vagina, and that’s totally your call as to when to introduce mons veneris (my favorite term!), labia, clitoris, urethra, cervix, etc., etc. But after all, you have now moved from “peanuts”, a wonderful combination of penis and balls, to penis and testicle(s) – can scrotum be far behind?  here you will get the  best penis enlargement device by Maleedge to enhance your sex life.  Why not give your wonderful lady parts their proper precision, at least in your written and oral usage?

Just a thought!

XO

As always, the man raises an excellent point. Touché, Doda, touché.

See? This runs in the family. I’m genetically predisposed.

Happiness is…

A family of Ephs hamming it up in a photobooth…

Addison’s look is arguably the best part of these images.

James Whaley Cart… swoon…

Even when he looks like a monkey man…

Kisses for Ephelia. An Ulmer Sister Sandwich Remix…

I want a poster-sized version of this image plastered across the wall of my office.

My parents… uniting chaos, crazy and joy since 1974.

God I love my family… I particularly love how cozy and snuggly James is getting with the cow. We’re a nutty bunch, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller

The View

I don’t think this scene will ever get old.

Style // Eternal Creation // Giveaway

One of the many perks of parenting two daughters is the opportunity to dress them in nauseatingly adorable complimentary outfits.

While I certainly opt for the complete matching ensemble every now and again, my preference is to dress the girls is clothing that has matching elements, but that captures the distinct personality and developmental stage of each daughter. When Eternal Creation offered to send me an outfit for both Courtland and Addison, I jumped at the opportunity. Not only do they have some sweet, easy, playful styles, I’m totally digging their mission:

To improve the lives of Tibetan refugees and local Indians by providing stable employment and training in beautiful surroundings and promote friendship between the two communities.

And when the clothing arrived in a sewn, fabric package from half way around the world, well… swoon!

Courtland the Crawler needs clothing that protects her knees and that doesn’t get tangled up in her limbs as she navigates the room. Dresses are a problem. Thus, she’s rocking a light and comfy purple polka-dot playsuit.

Meanwhile, Addison delights in twirling and dancing around the yard in dresses with a flouncy swirl. She hates pants or any loose fitting pant or short. She has a soft spot for floral patterns, and if her clothing has pockets? Well, stick a fork in her, she’s done. And so this sundress was the ultimate winner. And best of all, it’s trim and sashes were the same fabric as Kaki’s sweet romper.

Pretty magical, eh?

I’ll admit, when the girls play happily, without argument or tussle, while simultaneously donning complimentary (fair trade) ensembles? I go right ahead and pat myself on the back for a job well done.

Hey, I’ll take the harmony when I can!

Here’s how you can enter to win one of two $50 Gift Certificates to Eternal Creation:

• visit Eternal Creation

• leave a comment below telling me what pattern or outfit is your favorite.

• for an extra chance to win…
follow Eternal Creation and me on Twitter, then tweet the following phrase (then, come back here and share a link to your Tweet in the comments): Did you catch @tweetalacart & @eternalcreation $50 Gift Certificate giveaway? I just entered!: http://blogalacart.com/2012/06/eternal-creation-style

• another chance to win…
‘like’ Eternal Creation and me on Facebook, then come back here and tell us you like us, you really like us! in the comments.

• and one final chance to win…
subscribe to my blog, then come back here and let me know that you’re reading along in the comments.

Make sure you enter a valid email address in the email section of the comment box so I can contact you if you win! The winner will be chosen next Friday, June 22nd at 12pm EST. Open worldwide. Total Value: $50 (for two lucky readers).

GOOD LUCK!

And if you’re itching to grab something for a little one in your life (or yourself), use code NEXT20 to receive 20% off your order.

“Work”

Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I get paid to do what I do.

For instance, I planned and executed a mini-flash mob to our college anthem with the help of my choreographer sister, my favorite band *coughDarlingsidecough* and 50 very enthusiastic student workers.

It was fantastic. In the video you can hear me giggling like an idiot. It was THAT kind of fantastic.

And I trust that with age, Sunny will become an expert flash mobber thanks to her mama’s and auntie’s stunning example.

Photos: Courtesy of Kris Qua

Month 10

anger Baby!

Hey, would you mind sitting down a moment while I share some thoughts on the past month of your life? No? You’re going to bear crawl at the speed of light across the room and then shove small hazardous objects in your mouth while balancing on two legs and attempting to pull large pieces of furniture on top of you? How fun for mom and dad! That’s not nerve wracking in the least! I am really digging these grey-haired highlights.

I’m just going to come out and say it. We’re on Cart Suicide Watch 2012.

What? That’s offensive? I’ve crossed a line? No joking about death in relationship to one’s baby? No suicide jokes?

Look, I’d use a better metaphor if I had one. In fact, I went back in my archives and read the 10 month birthday letter I’d written to Addison to see what analogies I may have made in reference to this developmental stage. And ya know what? In that birthday letter I was raving about Addison’s 12 hour marathon sleep habits and you, Miss Kaki, are in a routine of awaking at 3am and screaming bloody murder until 5:30am. You’ve slept through the night a total of five, that’s one hand, times in your 10 months of life. I’m going to go ahead and use basic SAT reasoning and say that one of these things is not like the other. So any analogies I may have used to describe Sunny’s behavior are just not adequate to capture your extreme, living-on-the-edge approach to life.

I’m making it sound like you’re a little monster. But oh my dear, the flip side to your attempts at finding the most interesting means of taking your own life and the screams that make it sound like we’re sticking needles in your toes in the middle of the night is the most outrageously wacky, joyous, absurd, goofy smiled personality.

You’re a true mimic like your Auntie Kimmy and Doda. You watch our every move and I find you clapping with pride. High fiving. Trying to put the cap back on your cracker container. Loading the kid-sized laundry machine with toys. Offering kissing and hugs and neck nuzzles. Patting the dogs. Crawling in and out of the cardboard house, opening and shutting the door with glee. Waving hello or goodbye. Dancing to any beat that hits your ears. Raspberry-ing food across the room. Weeding the garden. Kicking and splashing in the tub. Flipping through pages in your books.

Girl, you are one smart cookie.

We couldn’t be prouder. Or more overwhelmed.

This has been another wild month, which is why this letter is over four days behind, with my biggest work event and Ursa’s amputation overshadowing many of your amazing developmental milestones. You have two top teeth! You’re eating adult food – scrambled eggs and noodles and raspberries, oh my! You’re standing, unassisted for going on minutes, plural! You take steps when we hold your hands! I fear that you will be toddling boldly around the house by the time I write to you next month.

Perhaps that’s why you gravitate to such extreme behavior. It’s the only way you can compete with all the chaos this household has to offer.

Whatever the reason, I love you all the more for holding your own among the pack. You are you. The youest you. I don’t know how else to describe it. But you are just so you. Unabashedly. Unapologetically. Loudly. Boldly. Determinedly. You.

Sounds like a few other women in this family, eh?

And while you delight in being an extreme yoga baby while nursing during the day (and with the appearance of those new chompers, ouch! Admittedly, we’re nursing less and less), I get moments of utter calm and stillness when we nurse in the evening. Looking back at my Instagram feed from this past month, it is absolutely filled with images of you, nursing, with those stunning, big blue eyes gazing my way.

And, despite all the chaos, that is how I will remember these past four weeks, my love. In fact, that is how I survived these past four weeks. Utterly frozen with disbelief and awe and love for you and those pretty blue eyes.

I’m so glad that you are you. And no one else.

Happy 10 months, my Kaki baby.

143 Mama

Kale Chips

How do you get a 3 year old to not only eat but adore leafy greens?

Make Kale Chips, that’s how.

This recipe is shockingly simple. And I’m sure most of you already know some variation of this. But I figured that for those of you that haven’t given it a try, I’d show you just how easy it truly is to get your kiddos inhaling kale by the bowl full.

Ingredients:
Bunch of kale
Olive oil
Salt

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

2. Remove kale leaves from stems. Dispose of stems and wash leaves.

3. Tear leaves up into small pieces. Dry as thoroughly as possible.

4. Lay the leaves out on baking sheet. I find that it’s crucial to have only 1 layer of leaves on the baking sheet so that the leaves bake evenly.

5. Drizzle olive oil and coat leaves evenly in oil. Shake salt over leaves to taste.

6. Put in oven for 5 minutes. Check leaves, flipping them over. Continue baking in 1-2 minute intervals as needed. They can burn quickly, so keep an eye out. They should turn a dark, crisp green, but not turn brown and burn. They’ll always be a couple over cooked, but I love anything burnt and gladly fall on that sword.

7. Toss in a bowl and watch as your preschooler doesn’t come up for air until the kale has disappeared. A nice alternative to potato chips or tortilla chips. In Sunny’s words, “I love the crunch!”

Photos: Courtesy of Ashley Weeks Cart

Elephant

She’d eat an entire elephant, for a snack, if we let her.

Kid knows how to put it away. She may have her daddy’s looks, but she’s got her mama’s appetite!