Four to Six Weeks

by Ashley Weeks Cart

ursa as pup with mom

My baby girl. My best friend. We’ll be saying goodbye to her sooner than any of us would have liked.

The cancer has spread to her lungs. The doctors predict we’ll have four to six weeks with her.

And we’re going to make the most of that time while she is still full of energy and joy. While she is still pain free. We’ll shower her in tennis balls and bacon.

And we’ll make her as comfortable as we possibly can. And I will make that unbearable decision when the time comes. I trust that she’ll let me know. She knows me better than almost anyone in the Universe, and I her. While bringing my daughters into the world was incredibly challenging, helping her leave the world will be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

This dog helped me grow up. She saw me through that uneasy transition between adolescence and adulthood. I will never feel this way, this deeply, about another animal. I feel so lucky that I got to know true, unconditional love at such a young age. I feel so lucky to call her mine.

A dear and loving friend emailed me and James yesterday, before we even had a clear diagnosis, and commented, “I was thinking looking at the most recent set of photos that she’s a pup who’s truly already in dog heaven.”

And those words bring me such comfort and peace in the face of such devastation. I have so many more thoughts, but for now, I’ll leave it at that (as I ugly cry into my keyboard). You can follow our day to day with her over on Instagram or Facebook. Thank you for your kindness while my family confronts this heartbreaking challenge.

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