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This morning, my dear, brave friend delivered twin baby girls, too early for them to survive in this life, but unable to stay with her any longer. She fought valiantly. And with such strength. Through a pregnancy wrought with complication and pain. And I physically ache for her loss. For the unfathomable act she had to perform in delivering and holding her little girls, 23 weeks of gestation, for that all too brief hour and a half that they lived in this world. Too early for life on the outside. And yet, and yet, so loved. So bestowed with the hopes and dreams of life. How do you keep moving forward in the face of such devastation? How do you wake up and love life anew in the wake of such tragedy?

It takes my breath away.

My father emailed my family this morning after hearing the news. He couldn’t sleep. And so, he wrote. And I now better understand the roots of this blog, from whom I inherited the impulse. And I now have tangible evidence of why I am the woman I am today, raised by a father who thinks and shares in this way. Thank you, Doda.

We men are so utterly helpless when our women struggle to create new life. We are so in awe of them – a power we can never share and that we can never really fully comprehend. We hold them in reverence and treasure them for this unique gift they possess that is stronger than any force in this universe. That they choose us to bestow this treasure upon is the ultimate proof of love. That they are willing to risk this nine month journey is to have an absolute faith in biology that transcends all our knowledge of science and medicine. It is a trust in our most primordial beginnings. All we can do is hold our breath, cross our fingers and watch in utter amazement. Our hearts stop at the least sign of trouble as there is little else that we can really affect. For those who successfully complete that incomprehensible voyage and deliver a healthy child, we are forever in debt and owe a lifetime of devotion and unconditional love. But for those brave women who set out on that same voyage and encounter impassable storms and obstacles and never reach that golden shore, we hold in even greater esteem and wonderment. Never has a battle been more hard fought than a mother fighting with every fiber of her being to carry that tiny spark of life and keep the flame alit. There is no human act more noble and selfless and inspiring, while we stand impotent and devastated on the sidelines. These women require even greater love and admiration in return for their struggle and unfathomable loss, not just from those closest and dearest to them, but from all of us. They must know that that their valiant leap of faith was not in vain, but is the greatest display of the human spirit. Their pain is universally shared and our common love must nurture them and help them heal. They must know that they are venerated and have our unqualified and unquestioning love and support, whether or not they contemplate the unthinkable – trying again.