Monday
This morning was a comedy of errors.
First, I discovered Courtland finger painting with feces due to a rogue diaper and a quinoa-inspired bowel movement. Her crib, her blankets, her toys, and her body were completely coated in poop. An emergency Mama/daughter shower were in order. And a gas mask.
Following this shower, my mother announced that her dog had pulled a used condom out of the trash and was running around the upstairs hallway with it. We have septic, people! And our dogs leave the trash alone. And it’s clearly time to get that IUD. No more procrastination.
Thank god I have the most awesome mother on the planet who honestly did not care. Although, when I relayed the story to James, he expressed gratitude that he had already left for work before the incident, saving face with his mother-in-law. For the time being.
Then a wasp landed on the bosom of my mother’s nightgown, and great shrieking ensued, as I, the afternoon prior, had unknowingly grabbed a waps’ nest while moving patio furniture and suffered accordingly. I was not interested in reliving yesterday’s encounter. Fortunately, a wash cloth and some pounding with a shoe remediated the possibility of additional stings.
Right before departing for work, I carried jars of paint down to the basement as my barn hex sign was finally completed (a longer post forthcoming) and one jar toppled from the stack, splattering bright yellow paint all over me and the floor.
Well fuck you too, Monday!
In all honesty, we’re leaving on a 10 day vacation by the coast on Wednesday morning, so nothing is breaking my spirit. You hear me, Monday? Nothing.
We’re headed to see my parents and sister on Cape Cod, with a wedding, a circus, a one year birthday, a concert on an island, a visit to my hometown, a tug boat ride, and lots and lots of time on the ocean on the schedule. Posting will be light, if none existent, but I’ll be sharing the adventures thanks to Instagram. I hope you’ll follow along!
