Blog a la Cart

On Wednesday, I went to pick up Sunny from preschool and noted that she was wearing different pants than the ones I had dropped her off in that morning.

I assumed that they were yet another victim of the potty-training regression that has occurred since she started going to school.

Hey, she sees all her peers pooping their pants, so why shouldn’t she demand that someone still wipe her ass. Many a new pair of underwear has fallen prey to this line of thinking.

I asked Sunny if she’d had an accident and she very matter-of-factly told me, “No.”

One of the teachers chimed in:

This afternoon, I turned around after nap time and Sunny was running around the classroom without any pants on. We asked her where her pants were and she claimed that she’d had an accident. I went to her cubby to get fresh pants, but when I picked up her old ones, they were bone dry. I didn’t want to contradict her, so I put the new pants on, assuming that she simply wanted to wear different pants.

<Sigh>

If only that were the reasoning.

“No, no,” I explained, “She just didn’t want to be wearing pants. Period. This is an ongoing battle at home. She’s lied to me on more than one occasion, crying wolf about an accident to explain why she has removed her below-the-waist attire.”

But I didn’t stop there. Oh no, my horrible inability to act with grace and restraint kept my thought process steaming ahead and I found myself saying: “I blame myself. I’m really not the best role model on this front.”

<Awkward pause>

<Blink blink>

<The raising of heads (and eyebrows) from every parent in the classroom>

<Uncomfortable laughter>

I continued, at this point trying to explain why pants-wearing role modeling might be an issue for a grown woman:

You know, because I’ve been on maternity leave and all. And who has time for pants with a new baby in the house? AM I RIGHT? HA HA! Fortunately, I’m back to work! So *fingers crossed* you’ll see improvement from her on this front.

I finished shoving Sunny’s lunch into her bag and scrambled away before anyone could question me further.

GUYS! I’VE BEEN FOUND OUT! IN REAL LIFE!

I suppose I should just circulate a memo to the entire staff and parent community with a link to this blog. That will avoid any further surprise when it comes to my child’s behavior.

Also, I’m blaming my mother. And she can then pass along blame to her mother, the root of this Weeks Women propensity to operate sans culottes.

Good news? I’m winning on some role modeling fronts. Take a peek at this video. James caught Addison rocking out in the middle of the living room, demonstrating a well-skilled and confident “finger dance.” Also? She’s not really wearing pants. But at least we’d convinced her that tights were okay. Double win! Kind of!