Kaki and The Hawk

by Ashley Weeks Cart

It sounds like the beginnings of quite the children’s story, no?

I heave cried into that Mohawk yesterday when I went into the office for my first full day back to work. It may be the sleep deprivation talking, but I a bit emotionally “fragile” these days.

To try and get Courtland on a better sleep schedule we’ve been letting her “Cry It Out.” And OMG, I know, my kid is going to develop some horrible personality disorder because I’ve resorted to abandoning her in the crib to weep alone. But guys, desperate times! This has got her sleeping longer periods (once she does finally fall asleep), and she and I are much happier people as a result. However, last night, she was getting pretty damn hysterical as James and I huddled by the door and listened to her try to self-sooth and, well, let’s just say that I haven’t ugly cried like that in a really really long time. It was complete with big guttural sobs. Like a struggling sea lion beating up a hound.

James finally kicked me out of the house, so I drove to Rite Aid and wandered the aisles of the drug store like a lost, wounded puppy. I grabbed a king size bag of M&Ms and nearly devoured all of its contents before getting word that the baby was quiet and asleep and that I was allowed to come home.

Today, I’ll be working from home. So less drama. We can only hope.

Except Ursa goes in for an x-ray tomorrow to see if she has either A. arthritis or B. bone cancer, so the chances I’ll heave cry into her hurt shoulder are fairly high.

Stability, my other middle name. Now look at pictures of that baby. Then perhaps you can understand my distress in leaving that button nose and auburn ‘hawk.