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This Safe Sleep campaign by the city of Milwaukee makes my milk boil.

I am currently a breastfeeding mother to a three month old.

That explains the milk boiling.

It also explains why this campaign has struck a cord. While I am not an exclusive co-sleeper, you bet my infant’s binkie that I have on many an occasion had her sleep in my bed, with me and my partner. Here are the 5 best anti-snoring devices that can be used to get good sleep with your family.

I also did so with my now two and a half year old. And, miraculously (by Milwaukee’s standards), she lived to tell the tale.

I get it. The campaign is trying to be provocative. It’s trying to draw attention to the “cause” through hyperbole and drama.

But honestly?

A baby. Sleeping face down. In plushy, cushy pillows. Next to a butcher knife.

HONESTLY?

Apparently the city of Milwaukee feels that parents who allow their children to sleep in their beds are potential baby-killers AND stupid. Because if a parent is ignorant enough to permit her child to sleep in her bed, she must also be dumb enough to surround her baby with soft bedding and forgo the “back to sleep” recommendations that are discussed before a mother is released from her maternity stay at the hospital.

Why was money spent on creating and distributing images that are intended to shame parents that do bedshare and incite fear, rather than on education about safe sleep habits?

The city could have invested in further stressing the importance of the “back to sleep” rule of thumb and the importance of ensuring safe sleep conditions, free from soft bedding, loose blankets, etc., without specifically targeting cosleeping as the primary root of these evils.

The ad says, “Babies can die when sleeping in adult beds.”

Yes, true.

Babies can also die when sleeping in cribs.

Especially in the free “cribs” – i.e. Pack n’Plays – that the city is offering to parents that cannot afford a crib. Of note, the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission classifies Pack n’Plays as “play yards” rather than cribs. Play yards also come with warnings and risks. And, based on consumer reports, have resulted in infant deaths due to suffocation, entrapment and strangulation, much like the infant deaths that result from bedsharing. The steps to avoiding such tragedies is to promote education about creating a safe environment for the baby, by removing soft bedding, putting baby on back to sleep, and if sharing a bed with baby, not sleeping under the influence.
I understand that these ads are targeting a specific demographic that is engaging in dangerous parenting behaviors, such as sleeping intoxicated in the same bed as an infant, and that these parents may not have access to proper education about safe-sleep habits. But rather than shame cosleeping, which as a practice works and is beneficial for many parents and babies, why not invest money in offering better support and services to these at-risk families and parents?

At the end of the day, parenting an infant is an incredibly daunting and exhausting endeavor. I am in support of parents doing whatever works best for their family to survive it. If having baby sleep in a crib works, great! If having baby sleep curled up in the crook of your arm works, also great! If a combination of the two proves successful, GO FOR IT! Personally, after two or more failed attempts at transferring my sleeping infant from our adult bed, where we breastfeed, to her bassinet proves unsuccessful, I most certainly opt for sharing a bed with her to ensure we both get a decent night’s sleep. Sometimes she sleeps soundly in the bassinet and sometimes she sleep soundly on our adult mattress. But in either situation, she sleeps swaddled on her back, free from any loose bedding or pillows.

Sleep is a precious and rare thing for parents of an infant. Rather than make it a fear-inducing practice, let’s provide resources and education about how best to combat potential tragedy.

I know from personal experience that the city of Milwaukee is not the only entity culpable of shaming bedsharing. I have experienced the medical industry’s aversion to cosleeping both during my hospital stay when my eldest daughter was born and with our first pediatrician. I found myself hiding the fact that I occasionally bedshared with my eldest because I knew that the pediatrician would cast shame and disapproval upon this information.  Fortunately, I recognized that I wanted to have an open and honest relationship with my children’s doctor and switched to a practice that is supportive of our family’s choices. Of course, I expect doctors to share the potential risks of cosleeping, but they should also share the potential benefits and allow parents to make whatever decision is best for their family.

While in the hospital with my eldest, I was told by multiple nurses that I was not allowed to sleep with my daughter in the hospital bed with me. That kind of policy is incredibly problematic and ignores the research that supports mothers and babies bedsharing, especially breastfeeding mothers.  For more detailed information, I recommend visiting here.

Now I’m off to curl up in bed next to my infant, because she’s sound asleep and I should be too, dreaming next to her sweet sighs.