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Me: Ew. Oh. My. God. WHY DIDN’T YOU GIVE ME A COURTESY WARNING?!

Him: What? What are you talking about?

Me: You farted. And it smells. Bad.

Him: No I didn’t.

Me: YES YOU DID! <fanning sheets in his general direction> See?

Him: Yeah, but that was like 2 minutes ago.

Me: So? I still deserved a warning that it would be hibernating and dutch ovening under our covers. That was an unfair sneak attack.

Him: I…

Me: Out. Get out. I can’t sleep in a double bed, pregnant, with a 6 foot flatulent bedmate that doesn’t even provide courtesy fart warnings.

Him: We need to get that King bed, huh?

Me: Yeah, like yesterday.

Him: Alright, I’ll be in the guest room.

Me: I’m calling you if Addison wakes up in the middle of the night.

Him: I know. You’ll call if you need a goddamn tissue…

Me: What?

Him: Nothing. <puts his phone on silent>

Ain’t marriage a glamorous, romantic thing? If you’re considering ending your marriage, it’s important to understand the Utah divorce process to handle the legal details more effectively.