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One of my besties from college is a doctor. A really really brilliant, thoughtful, amazing doctor. She’s in residency to become a radiation oncologist. I can think of no more challenging, heartbreaking, important work.

I am in awe of her everyday.

She’s one of those people that inspires me daily. Keeps me on my toes. Keeps my mind always rethinking, reshaping the way it perceives the world. She motivates me to do more, dig deeper, and be thoughtful in all my actions.

That is exactly the kind of influence you want around your children.

Which is why Sunny is lucky enough to have her as her Fairy Godmother.

Now, anyone that has doctor friends knows how terribly beneficial this friendship can be. We can pester said friends with questions about all of our medical woes and worries, before having to even step foot in a medical office. And, in my case, I can have said doctor sleeping in my home mere weeks after the birth of my first born, when even the slightest gurgle, cry, and cough warrants panic and Googling. When Sunny bumped her head on the kitchen sink during one of her first baths, Dellie was there to calm my crazed mommy-heart and assure me that she was, indeed, fine. When a drop of baby shampoo fell into Sunny’s mouth, and she began snorting bubbles and scream crying, and I threatened to rip James’ face off for killing our child with baby product, Dellie was once again the calming, reassuring influence by our side.

Our home is equipped with the Pediatric Telephone Advice manual. Yes, she is the reason.

And when I announced my second pregnancy, she began researching books to help ease Sunny into this transition, and sent me a list of links and suggestions that she’d unearthed in her research. Yep, Fairy Godmother material she is.

Not to mention the slew of adorable outfits, hand stitched quilt, board books, blocks, canvas baby swing, meal preparation and clean up, and, most importantly, postpartum companionship that she’s brought to this household.

She’s often a sounding board for many of my feminist, maternal rants, and today she shared with me snippets from some recent study results that she thought I would find equally as infuriating as she did. And, never one to resist an opportunity to rant on my blog, I couldn’t resist sharing them with all of you, and processing some conclusions that we all should be drawing from such results. Dellie shared with me some of her thoughts, which I will pepper in as well.

Part 1:

Childhood Obesity Associated With Formula, Starting Solid Foods Too Early.
USA Today (2/7, Szabo) reports, “Formula-fed babies who begin solid foods too early — before they’re four months old — are six times as likely to become obese by age three, compared with babies who start on solids later, according to a study” published online in the journal Pediatrics. “About 9% of children in the study were obese by age three,” USA Today points out. In contrast, “breast-fed babies face no additional risk of obesity, regardless of when they start solids, the study says.” For that reason, the CNN (2/7, Wade) “The Chart” blog reports, “the American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that new mothers breast-feed their babies for at least six months and introduce solid foods between four and six months.” While the study authors are unsure why introducing solid foods too early may be associated with obesity, they theorize that “formula-fed infants are consuming more milk than breast-fed children and therefore getting more calories.” The Wall Street Journal (2/7, A6, Dooren, subscription required) and MedPage Today (2/7, Phend) also cover the story.

Oh my. I’ve been saying this quite a bit lately, but breastfeeding is fucking hard. HARD I tell you. I found it challenging as a woman who was not working, and had to pump only once a week after 3 months time to accommodate my class schedule. I can only imagine how difficult and impossible it is for women that have to return to work full time after only 8 weeks maternity leave. If this study is true, and there is medical and nutritional value and necessity to women breastfeeding their children, then why, OH WHY, don’t we as an (American) society prioritize and accommodate this need. Why are some women’s maternity leaves only 6 weeks long? That is barely enough time for the woman to physically recover herself, let alone create a comfortable routine with her infant and her/his feeding schedule. And further, as Dellie noted, “if we want to keep our kids healthy, and if having their moms healthy (i.e. breastfeeding) is key to their health, why the hell do we not make space in society for women to breast feed (physical space, communal acceptance of breast feeding as a practice, and work schedules that accommodate the physical, emotional, and environmental challenges that come with breastfeeding)?”

Um, we can do better. People are awed when I tell them that my maternity leave will be 4 months long for this second baby. As in, they are jealous and impressed.

That is unacceptable.

Look across the pond to countries where women and men receive a full year of paid leave, and we should be spitting at 4 months. Need we turn our head’s north for a model of a country that prioritizes maternal and paternal health, care, and leave? It is possible. And if it creates healthier future generations, and therefore less of a financial and medical burden on society, why on earth wouldn’t we do it?

Part 2:

Working Mothers May Have Children With Higher BMIs. The Boston Globe (2/4, Kotz) “Daily Dose” blog reported that “working mothers have kids with higher body mass indexes and that the more mothers work, the more excess weight their child gains,” according to a study published Feb. 4 in the journal Child Development. After examining “900 children in grades 3, 5, and 6,” investigators “found that every five months of a mom working translated into an average of nearly one extra pound for her child — above and beyond what a child that age and height would normally gain.” “Children in fifth and sixth grade were the most likely to gain weight when their mothers worked, compared with younger and older children,” the Chicago Tribune /Los Angeles Times (2/4, Roan) “Booster Shots” blog reported. As to why the children gained weight, the study authors theorized that “working mothers have less time to shop for healthy foods and cook at home and may resort more often to take-out food that is higher in calories.”

It’s obvious, but where are the dads in this conversation? Why does the burden of a child’s health fall to the moms and the word father or co-parent does not factor into the picture? And if working households are resulting in less healthy children, why, again, aren’t we as a society re-thinking our workplace policies and structures (things like paternity and maternity leave, flexible schedules, child care options, etc.)?

As always, I find it shocking that we must even ask these questions, that they aren’t obvious and addressed given that EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON PLANET EARTH is here because someone brought them into this world and parented them. It is a universal condition. Even if you are not a parent, you were parented. You had someone who carried you for months and birthed you. And while not all birth mothers then parent, the majority of us are cared for by an adult that took on the challenges of mothering or fathering. Maternity should not be such a radically misunderstood taboo. And in Dellie’s brilliant concluding words:

These studies are just so hard on women – it’s important to expose the truth (even when it’s really unappetizing), but it’s also just so painful to feel like our society forces women to be superheroes without supporting them, let alone celebrating them.