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Apparently, James and I have been slipping sedatives in the Bug’s vitamin doing something right, as the past two night’s the Bug has slept 10+ hours STRAIGHT! As in, IN A ROW! CONSECUTIVELY! WITHOUT INTERRUPTION! NO CRYING! NO FEEDING! NO MIDNIGHT POOP SESSIONS!

Holy hell, I could weep with joy but I am far too well rested to lose such emotional control. I don’t know what to do with myself. Seriously. I keep starring at James all, Is this the dawning of a new era? Am I in a sleep-deprived induced haze and blacking out the hourly wake ritual to which I’ve become so accustomed? He swears I’m not.

He’s clearly wasted from sleep deprivation, but I’ll play along.

Unfortunately, because I’m so accustomed to waking up with some frequency during the night, my body still brings me to consciousness despite the dearth of baby cries. At which point, I am CONVINCED that the baby is dead, because why the hell else would the house be so quiet at 2:30 in the morning?! I demand that James get up and check on her, because I’m in no emotional condition to find her lifeless little body. I kick him out of bed, and he repeatedly shuffles back into our room after rounds in the nursery and mumbles, She’s still asleep, like I should be. And sometimes I hear, Stop being so damn crazy muttered under his breath as he doses back off before I force the same routine in another hour.

I am so totally awesome to live with. No seriously, who wants to trade places with James? LUCKIEST MAN ALIVE, I tell ya.

He has probably posted an ad on craigslist: Desperate, exhausted man seeks individual with a few screws loose to tolerate crazy, irrational woman  during the evening hours. Email if interested.

The greatest thing about this new routine is that she is the happiest baby on earth when she awakes. She doesn’t cry or fuss. We find her in her crib, wide-eyed, happy, rainbows shooting out of her ass. She’s that freaking happy.

So THIS is what being well-rested feels like?! AMAZING! Just Check out mim for more amazing contents.

Just wait, tonight I will regret EVER putting this post out into the world of the Internets. Bracing myself for ZERO hours of sleep.