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Currently Reading

I’ve been a fan of Jennifer Weiner ever since jumping on The Bachelor/ette franchise this summer when a college classmate was one of the contestants on the show. I loathe the show and everything it represents with every fiber of my being, but it is like a train wreck in that it is so very hard to look away. Jennifer’s live tweets are what have kept my faith in humanity alive despite getting sucked into the vortex of some of my worst feminist nightmares realized on a hugely mainstream and popular stage.

Here recent Op-Ed in the NYT further confirmed my support of her work and commentary. It’s fitting to share in light of my post yesterday.

Show me a body part, I’ll show you someone who’s making money by telling women that theirs looks wrong and they need to fix it. Tone it, work it out, tan it, bleach it, tattoo it, lipo it, remove all the hair, lose every bit of jiggle. (Full piece here)

Pete The Cat

Our nightly reading ritual with the kids has been intensified since Sunny began Kindergarten and started reading on her own. It’s truly amazing to behold her figuring out how to sound out words and make meaning of all those letters on a page. You can tell she feels so proud and empowered when she reads a sign on the street or a restaurant menu or a poster on a wall without any help. Reading is an incredibly powerful thing, y’all.

Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes has been a favorite for some time, but now we have a collaborative approach to how we read the story. Courtland practices her colors, fruits, and numbers, Sunny practices her reading, and we all practice our grooving. I adore this part of our evenings so very much. Do you think it’ll be appropriate to insist that they engage in such behavior at 16?

ABSOLUTELY! But just in case, we filmed one our readings, so I have an excuse to weep uncontrollably while consuming a plate of nachos and pint of ice cream in one sitting 20 years from now.

Currently Reading

Don’t watch the Ray Rice video. Read this instead.

But in a world in which one in four women is the victim of intimate partner violence and black women are disproportionately targeted, this victim blaming is not just irresponsible; it is lethal…

If we viewed victims as more than a link to be tweeted, more than statistics to be reported to a broken criminal justice system, we would have to grapple with their complex humanity. We would have to offer meaningful solutions to violence, holistic responses to trauma, and accountability for abusers whom we may love. We would have to do more than just watch.

Currently Reading

As someone who grew up in a Star Trek loving household, I was particularly moved by this blog post:

To that end, we’ve tried to make our literary dramatis personae more closely resemble the people of Earth. We’ve tried to include more people of African, Asian, and Southeast Asian ancestry than were seen in the televised and feature-film stories. We’ve tried to incorporate characters who hail from many cultures and viewpoints. We’ve tried to imagine a future in which people of all faiths have learned to live in harmony with people of other creeds as well as those who prefer to lead purely secular lives. We’ve tried to depict a future in which people’s gender identities are no longer limited to some arbitrary binary social construct, but rather reflect a more fluid sense of personal identity.

Currently Reading

The message is simple: whatever you are doing in public, drop it to move to a private area. Shopping? Return to your vehicle. At a remote park? Find an abandoned train car. Think about others.

This article had me laughing and yet cringing from its spot-on, honest, scathing analysis of breastfeeding in the U.S. Do give it a read.  Many thanks to FGM G for putting it on my radar! (It took me back to this post from my early days breastfeeding Sunny. Five years ago this month! Oh I shall never forget that adventure to the Huntington Gardens in L.A. I wish I had had more confidence to just breastfeed her at the table during tea time rather than hide in a public restroom over a toilet seat.)

Currently Reading

Whatever the nature of your experience in high school or college, I strongly urge you to return to the people and places of your past mindfully — not for the sake of the past, but to touch the richness of the present. These people and places continue, as do our relationships with them. What remains raw can heal, and what was marvelous then can evolve now. Graduation is neither an indelible end nor a totally fresh beginning: it is a turning point inextricably linked with what came before, and followed, and is yet to come.

Full post here by Deborah Schoeberlein ’89, an Eph who just returned to campus for the first time since her graduation 25 years ago.

Mother’s Day

On the phone last night with my mother, she told me to read this. And, as mothers are oft to do, she was right, I loved it.

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages six, four, and one. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Today, I will do just that. Treasure the doing. Happy Mother’s Day to all you beautiful women that help us become our truest selves.

Currently Reading

For anyone parenting. Period. Especially for anyone parenting a toddler/tantrummer. Thanks to my dear friend, Lydia, mama to a fellow 2 year old, for this read.

Acknowledgement isn’t condoning our child’s actions; it’s validating the feelings behind them. It’s a simple, profound way to reflect our child’s experience and inner self. It demonstrates our understanding and acceptance. It sends a powerful, affirming message… Every thought, desire, feeling — every expression of your mind, body and heart — is perfectly acceptable, appropriate and lovable.

(Full post here)

Currently Reading

A friend passed along a link to this article, “There is No Right Way to Have a Baby.” And it really struck home. I am always walking a fine line when it comes to maternity, childbirth, and parenthood to reflect honestly and genuinely on my own personal experiences and decisions while being respectful and open to the myriad of other choices and lifestyles that are possible. With the exception of those that don’t vaccinate, I am of a very “live and let live” mindset. Education and empowerment are at the heart of what I wish for my fellow women, mothers, parents, humans.

There is no way to do labor “right” or “wrong,” and it’s damaging to perpetuate a one-size-fits-all approach to having babies. Taking pain meds doesn’t make you a weak or fearful person. It doesn’t make you a bad mother. Taking pain meds just makes you a person who would like to experience somewhat less pain. That’s all.

Currently Reading

Some really good food for thought for this particular mama who cringes and bemoans the princess/pink madness regularly:

“Chill out” is very good advice. The pink phase will pass like anything else, and if it doesn’t, well, then, you have raised a human being who really likes pink. Which is the same as raising a human being who really likes green. The meaning of the color is what we make it mean. By steering our daughters away from the pink aisle to subvert dangerous gender norms, we’re reinforcing them.