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Category: be present Maternity Series

Month 10

It doesn’t really feel appropriate to call this series of photos Month 10, and yet it is the 10th and final installment of the photography series of my pregnancy with Courtland.

It does feel appropriate to culminate the documentation with a final shoot in the studio with mama and baby, this time with her on the outside. I’m wearing the outfit I donned in the Month 1 shoot.

I can’t believe my little Sesame Seed has been out in this world for one full month. It’s hard to believe we ever existed as a family without her.

 

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*Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller Photography
As always, I cannot thank Kate enough for taking on this project with me. She rocks. Truly.

**A big thank you to be present for providing the clothing that I wore throughout the months of my pregnancy and in these monthly installments.

***Click to see Month 1, Month 2, Month 3, Month 4, Month 5, Month 6, Month 7, Month 8, Month 9 and deats on my partnership with be present.

Month 9

It was a hot and humid final month, but I made it. We made it. And, thank the sweet baby Cheez-Its for central air conditioning. I honestly do not know how I would have fared without such a luxury. My midwives kept commenting on the positive condition of my ankles in those final weeks (as in, I had them. Cankle woman, I was not). I told them I had my friend, AC, to thank for that.

Oh, and also my parents, for pushing us to rent this house over a year and a half ago. They sighted future comfort while pregnant among their many persuasive arguments, and they could not have been more correct. Also, breastfeeding will be a far less sweaty affair, cutting down on the number of bodily fluids that are a part of said activity. Amen!

It’s hard to believe that 9 months have gone by so quickly. And yet the days of slogging through snow mounds to visit Kate’s studio to shoot pictures of the early trimesters is but a distant memory. Ah, time, you constant cliché, you.

The days leading up to L&D Day (har har har!) seem painfully long, but I have been trying to make the most of them. Reading and snuggling Sunny as her days as an only child dwindle by the minute. Crafting and writing and photographing an absurd amount as I know that not only will my physical time be limited for such endeavors, but my mental capacity will be severely diminished upon The Sesame Seed’s arrival.

Also, I’ve promised myself that this time around I will be easier on myself during recovery. I will sleep and snuggle and nurse that infant, and I’ll shower only if I’m feeling up to it. I will let others help take care of me. Cook for me. I won’t worry about the piles of laundry, or the tumble weeds of dog hair accumulating around the house. I will sink into that time with my new baby and be comfortable if that is all that is accomplished in a day.

I will remember how despite how all-consuming that time feels in the moment, that it is so fleeting and precious and I may never have it again. So stay away from the computer. A silly craft tutorial can be done another day. But this gurgling bundle of innocence will grow up and forgo the snuggles in just a few months time.

With Sunny, I was so anxious as to what this whole parenting thing would mean that I found myself worrying not only about labor but about the aftermath – the whole, life with a kid thing. It’s so refreshing to not have that weight on my shoulders this go round. To know, really know, how truly wonderful and amazing the end result of this entire experience is.

I am so excited to meet her. I really am.

 


Renew Ribbed be present Tank in Island Blue and French Terry Resort Short in Graphite by be present

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*Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller Photography
As always, I cannot thank Kate enough for taking on this project with me. She rocks. Truly.

**Clothes: Courtesy of be present
Please, head on over to Facebook and ‘like’ the heck out of this awesome company. And if you’re on Twitter, why don’t you give ‘em a follow? And you can check out their whole line and subscribe to their newsletter by heading over to www.bepresent.com.

***Click to see Month 1, Month 2, Month 3, Month 4, Month 5, Month 6, Month 7, Month 8 and deats on my partnership with be present.

Month 8

 

Racerback Hemp Tank in White and Micro Modal Dance Cami in Currant by be present

As of today, I am officially “full term,” meaning 36 weeks pregnant and thus within the window for delivery of one healthy little girl. This also means that the Cart household is on Baby Watch 2011. Every pain within the vicinity of the abdominal area has me demanding that James grab his phone and pull up the Contraction Calculator App. We may or may not have counted down to a bowel movement earlier this week, as I mistook gas pains for the work of labor.

James will never get those minutes of his life back. He’s rather displeased.

I’ve nailed down a doula, and we’ve been working on my birth plan. Thank goodness it does not need to be as elaborate and heavy-handed as the one I used with Addison. Many of my wishes are routine procedure for the hospital where I’ll be delivering in Vermont. That was not the case in Beverly Hills, and I am so looking forward to being in a more supportive and understanding environment this go-round.

I’ve also been learning more about Leboyer and very much hope that The Sesame Seed will be born in water. This of course assumes access to a L&D room with a tub (of which there are many, but apparently people like to get busy in November, because there are an inordinate amount of women due with babies this August.) Looks like we may be duking it out for a tub room.

While every Braxton Hicks sends me spiraling into flashbacks of Sunny’s birth, I am trying to not let the fear of the pain get the best of me. Just tonight, James and I curled up with Addison on the couch and watched the photography montage of her birth. I am never not blown away watching that experience unfold before my eyes, and when the movie transitions to live video of the first words I ever spoke to her, I am reminded of exactly why all that work, and pain, and struggle is worth it.

Because to hold new life in your arms is nothing short of awesome.

And I get to do that again, very soon.

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* Do you want to win the Racerback Hemp Tank that I’m wearing?!? Of course you do! Jump on over to Green Eyed Monster to enter!

**Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller Photography
As always, I cannot thank Kate enough for taking on this project with me. She rocks. Truly.

***Clothes: Courtesy of be present
Please, head on over to Facebook and ‘like’ the heck out of this awesome company. And if you’re on Twitter, why don’t you give ‘em a follow? And you can check out their whole line and subscribe to their newsletter by heading over to www.bepresent.com.

**** Click to see Month 1, Month 2, Month 3, Month 4, Month 5, Month 6, Month 7 and deats on my partnership with be present.

Month 7

 

I’m in the home stretch. Oh my goodness. The third trimester has arrived!

And for those of you that have experienced pregnancy, you all know that such a statement brings much relief, anticipation, and gas. I’m like a living whoopee cushion. The rumbles from my digestive system are enough to scare the dogs.

And you think I’m exaggerating.

Alas.

I am filled with such joy and excitement at the thought of meeting The Sesame Seed in a handful of weeks, and yet totally overwhelmed at the prospect of having an infant dwelling in our home in so little time.

WE’RE NOT READY!

However, if she made her grand entrance tomorrow, we’d have everything we need to welcome her.

This is the constant push and pull that James and I will experience for the next 8 weeks. The simultaneous enthusiasm and anxiety, joy and dread, hope and fear.

My huge weekend at work is behind me (thank the sweet baby Cheez-its) and we have one final wedding this season, and then we are planting ourselves at home and finally organizing our lives for this newest member. Pulling out the infant tub, and bassinet, and oh those trusty nipple shields (y’all can’t have forgotten about the SUPER NIPPLE (to be pronounced as though it were a super hero, because it totally is)). And the itty bitty onesies that will send my hormones into overdrive weeping about the passage of time as I look at the toddler that once donned such wee apparel. I’ll finally, officially hire my doula. I’ll update my birth plan. I’ll talk to HR about maternity leave.

Ya know, just a handful of minor, er MAJOR, tasks.

The little one is moving more than ever to make her presence known, and while I lament such mobility in the middle of the night, I can’t help but relish experiencing her growth so intimately.

While I do not enjoy being pregnant, I am in awe of it. Daily.

I feel unbelievably fortunate that I have been provided the experience of making life not once, but twice. No matter the complaints, the discomfort, the indigestion, the swollen ankles, the pimple-ridden skin, I am grateful beyond words for this experience. And I’ll even admit that I am getting misty thinking about moving past this stage of my life. I’ll write more about that later, but I plan for this to be my last pregnancy, so as much as it is easy to focus on the frustrations of the final trimester, I am trying to stop and appreciate this time. These moments where I am carrying life with me. Inside me.

It feels like magic. And in many ways, it is.

Easy Cami in Red and Ribbed Racerback Bra in Black by be present

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* Do you want to win the Easy Cami that I’m wearing?!? Of course you do! Jump on over to Green Eyed Monster to enter!

**Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller Photography
As always, I cannot thank Kate enough for taking on this project with me. She rocks. Truly.

***Clothes: Courtesy of be present
Please, head on over to Facebook and ‘like’ the heck out of this awesome company. And if you’re on Twitter, why don’t you give ‘em a follow? And you can check out their whole line and subscribe to their newsletter by heading over to www.bepresent.com.

**** Click to see Month 1, Month 2, Month 3, Month 4, Month 5, Month 6 and deats on my partnership with be present.

Month 6

Renew Dolman Sleeve Tunic in Island Blue and French Terry Lounge Pant in Graphite by be present

You see that? That preposterously cheesy grin on my face? That is the face of one very happy, very relieved, very grateful mama. If you haven’t been reading along, then you may have missed the drama surrounding The Sesame Seed’s kidneys. See here and here to get caught up.

Needless to say, despite reassurance from James, my midwives, many a doctor friend, and beyond, I was managing some pent up emotional stress during Month 6. Fortunately, that was all relieved this past Tuesday with an ultrasound that confirmed that all was well and developing normally with our little one. WHEW!

Since then I’ve had a permanent grin plastered across my face. And a silly attitude to go right along with it. These outtake series are some of my favorite. You can see that the weight of pregnancy is taking a toll on my balance, that’s for sure! But even the past few days of heavy rain couldn’t drag down my mood. When the sun peeks through the clouds, outside I head to push Sunny in her swing, or go for a walk, or throw the ball for the dogs. I am so looking forward to the summer, despite my expanding waistline, where I’ll have more days with my family in the sun and can prepare to welcome our newest addition from the comfort of a sundress (i.e. the tent-like muumuus I can justify wearing when I’m 9 months pregnant in the heat of August).

I don’t know what’s more thrilling, the prospect of donning muumuus all summer long or the fact that our ultrasound confirmed that The Sesame Seed already has a full head of hair like her big sister. Another mohawk baby? YES PLEASE!

Hip hip hooray for healthy, average-sized kidneys! Hip hip hooray for the relative comfort of the second trimester! Hip hip hooray for mohawk babies! Hip hip hooray for still being able to get myself airborne despite an extra 20 or so pounds!

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* Do you want to win the outrageously comfortable French Terry Lounge Pant that I’m wearing?!? Of course you do! Jump on over to Green Eyed Monster to enter!

**Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller Photography
As always, I cannot thank Kate enough for taking on this project with me. She rocks. Truly.

***Clothes: Courtesy of be present
Please, head on over to Facebook and ‘like’ the heck out of this awesome company. And if you’re on Twitter, why don’t you give ‘em a follow? And you can check out their whole line and subscribe to their newsletter by heading over to www.bepresent.com.

**** Click to see Month 1, Month 2, Month 3, Month 4, Month 5 and deats on my partnership with be present.

Month 5


Long-Sleeve Hemp Cross Back Tee in Fern by be present

How am I feeling?, you ask. Well, FABULOUS, a thank you very much.

It is so very refreshing and gratifying to be able to respond that way, and truly mean it. After a nauseous 1st trimester and a sinus infection filled fourth month, I am (finally) fully immersed in the honeymoon stage of pregnancy. I recognize that with each passing day, the Sesame Seed grows and thus my comfort declines. But I’m trying to stay positive, despite my ankles that throb slightly quicker than usual (this is where James and his nightly foot rubs come into play) and my constant need to urinate.

I so sympathize with the post-60 crowd in my Zumba class. We are constantly running to the restroom for relief throughout the hour long routine.

Also, this baby? She’s an active one. Last night I suffered through two hours of her turning flips and performing an Olympic scale gymnastics floor routine in my uterus.

I get it. You’re alive and (literally) kicking. Now can we just chill out?! Mama needs her sleep!

While it’s reassuring to know that she’s moving and grooving inside, it always happens at the most inopportune moments. All day, while I am walking or moving around, she sleeps because my motion soothes her to slumber. The moment I cease motion, however, and say, lie down to sleep myself, she awakes. My doctor with Addison described it as comparable to sleeping in a car. The motion of the vehicle lulls you to sleep, but once parked, you immediately awake.

I AM NOT A MOVING AUTOMOBILE, Sesame Seed.

I think I’m going to loose this battle. But at least I’m looking super cute while doing it thanks to be present. Just check out my rocking booty below courtesy of the Long-Sleeve Hemp Cross Back Tee. I highly recommend to all, pregnant belly or no.

 

The Month 5 shoot was particularly enjoyable because Sunny joined us in the studio. That’s when these silly photos were taken. She has become more and more interested in the belly as it has become more and more prominent. As expected, however, she does not fully understand what it means when we tell her that her baby sister is in that growing belly. Just this morning she lifted up her own shirt, touched her tummy, and said, “Hi, baby!”

I’d been waiting for that moment.

James and I corrected her and tried explaining that, no, Sunny did not have a baby in her belly, but Mommy did.That’s rather abstract information for a not-even-two-year old to absorb, but at least we’re trying, eh?

And Addison’s Fairy Godmother gifted her with some early birthday presents – an array of books about pregnancy and welcoming a new baby into the home written for soon-to-be older siblings. She very much enjoys the books, and we hope that they’ll help make clear some of what’s happening in our household.

Regardless, we’re reveling in watching her interact with her baby sister, even if her understanding of it all is limited. And now that the Sesame Seed’s kicks and bumps in utereo resonate on the outside of the belly, the whole family can engage with her a little more fully.

Although to Sunny, it must seem like mommy has a belly that can dance. It’s one pretty talented piece of anatomy.

Just wait until the third trimester, Sunny. Mommy’s tummy will be doing the tango.

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* Do you want to win the super stylish and cozy Long-Sleeve Hemp Cross Back Tee that I’m wearing?!? Of course you do! Jump on over to Green Eyed Monster to enter!

**Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller Photography
As always, I cannot thank Kate enough for taking on this project with me. She rocks. Truly.

***Clothes: Courtesy of be present
Please, head on over to Facebook and ‘like’ the heck out of this awesome company. And if you’re on Twitter, why don’t you give ‘em a follow? And you can check out their whole line and subscribe to their newsletter by heading over to www.bepresent.com.

**** Click to see Month 1, Month 2, Month 3, Month 4 and deats on my partnership with be present.

Month 4

French Terry Lounge Pant in White by be present

This post is weeks behind. That 2.5 week long sinus infection is to blame. Who wants to endure a photo shoot with green slime pouring out of their nose and a midwestern high school marching band parading around their head?

Yeah, no one.

Despite the yucky sinus nonsense, and Sunny’s stream of colds, and coughs, and fevers (ah the joys of life with a toddler), Month 4 has been a good one. No nausea. Some glimpses of spring. A trip to Florida. And, best of all, the opportunity to see our growing Sesame Seed.

I had seen Addison three times by the time I saw the Sesame Seed. With Sunny, I was seeing an OB in Beverly Hills with some super high tech equipment right in her office. I had an ultrasound every appointment. Since she was my first, I had no idea that that was unique (and a bit excessive). It was a very different experience to the care I’m currently receiving with a midwifery practice in Southern Vermont. While the midwives don’t have all the latest medical equipment lying around their office and I have to do my lab work through the general hospital lab, it has been such a laid back, comfortable experience. It helps that I’ve already been through one healthy pregnancy, labor, delivery, and baby, but I am enjoying feeling as though my care providers are trusting my body and the Sesame Seed to do the work we need to do and are only checking in when necessary. If there were complications, I of course would want to seek the kind of care I received in L.A., but since everything is going smoothly thus far (save an ornery thyroid and a lingering sinus infection), the care of midwives is exactly what we need.

Particularly, I am looking forward to the labor and delivery (as much as any woman can look forward to such an experience), as I know I’ll have a team of nurses and care providers that are 100% supportive of my wishes for an unmedicated water birth. That was far far from the case in the 90210 with Sunny. That story is for another post, and I will definitely be writing more about Leboyer as I get closer to my due date.

For now, I’m relishing looking at all the photos of the Sesame Seed squirming and kicking and growing inside me. Sunny has been more engaged than ever with my belly and kisses the baby good morning and says, “Hi, Baby!” It’s unclear how much of this she understands, but she gets much joy in trying to feel her baby sister kick and in enthusiastically proclaiming that she is a “Big Sister!”

Everyday I am grateful to have two healthy growing girls in my life. I don’t ever take that for granted.

As usual, I had to share my favorite outtakes from the shoot, as they are always so much fun. Is Milo, Kate’s pup, not the cutest? Given that his mama is a photographer, he is quite comfortable in front of the camera. ______________________________________________________________________________________

* Do you want to win the outrageously comfortable organic cotton French Terry Lounge Pant that I’m wearing?!? Of course you do! Jump on over to Green Eyed Monster to enter!

**Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller Photography
As always, I cannot thank Kate enough for taking on this project with me. She rocks. Truly.

***Clothes: Courtesy of be present
Please, head on over to Facebook and ‘like’ the heck out of this awesome company. And if you’re on Twitter, why don’t you give ‘em a follow? And you can check out their whole line and subscribe to their newsletter by heading over to www.bepresent.com.

**** Click to see Month 1, Month 2, Month 3 and deats on my partnership with be present.

Month 3

Renew Long-Sleeve Raw Edge Tee and Agility Pant by be present

This month has been what one might refer to as a “doozey.” Between the constant exhaustion due to that stupid piece of anatomy called a thyroid not working properly, our first run in with an ear infection, a now sick pregnant mommy, and a dash of family drama, I’m more than happy to wave bye-bye to my first trimester and welcome in the second.

See ya later, nausea. I will not miss you. No, not in the least.

While processing these photos, I noted a number of things:

1. I look like the shaggy dog in desperate need of some sun. I promise to have trimmed bangs and fresh highlights by the time Month 4 rolls around.

2. I have put on noticeably more weight in the belly this month, largely due to the slowed metabolism (DAMN YOU, THYROID!) and, ya know, random cravings for Sour Patch Kids or Cadbury Creme Eggs while strolling the grocery aisles. Typically, I’m not much of a candy person, but hot dang, the Sesame Seed has needs of the sugary variety. Sadly, the belly is not yet in the cute-obviously-pregnant stage, but rather in the did-she-just-consume-an-entire-pizza-and-pitcher-of-beer stage? I may have done the former, but sadly the later part of that question won’t happen for some months to come.

3. Give me 2 months and I will even more strongly resemble that dancing elephant on the back of my tee. The ladies in my weekly Zumba class will be able to attest to this fact for you all.

4. I’m still thoroughly enjoying the appearance of my butt in the be present pants.

5. While my belly has grown, so have my boobs. There’s a plus side (literally) to all this biological nonsense.

6. The “heart” that I am making on my belly in the top photo looks more like an upside down triangle (aka vagina symbol) this month than in the past two. Same idea, right?

7. I love the outtake photos perhaps more than the posed. I get so self-conscious in front of the camera (who doesn’t?) and find that when I’m least aware, I look the most like me.

While it’s been a hard month, I lay in the tub last night (yes, a tepid and dissatisfying one but a bath nonetheless) forcing myself to release all of the stress, both physical and emotional, from the past week. I needed to just breathe and let go of all the petty stuff that builds and cripples me with stress and upset. I found myself apologizing to the Sesame Seed and bonding with that little beating heart in my womb.

Yes, that sentence was dripping in maternal sentimentality, but it’s the truth, and worth saying.

I’m so looking forward to the 2nd trimester, when I’ll feel and look my best during the pregnancy. Plus, it shall be paired with the warming weather and melting snow, which means I’ll be able to resume my regular walking schedule and get my butt out of the gym and into the sun more frequently.

All good things.

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* Do you want to win the wonderfully accommodating and comfy Agility Pant that I’m wearing?!? Of course you do! Jump on over to Green Eyed Monster to enter!

**Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller Photography
As always, I cannot thank Kate enough for taking on this project with me. She rocks. Truly.

***Clothes: Courtesy of be present
Please, head on over to Facebook and ‘like’ the heck out of this awesome company. And if you’re on Twitter, why don’t you give ‘em a follow? And you can check out their whole line and subscribe to their newsletter by heading over to www.bepresent.com.

**** Click to see Month 1, Month 2, and deats on my partnership with be present.

1st Trimester

Month 2


Long-Sleeve Slit Neck Tree Tee and Long Versatility Pant by be present

Not much to show from the side, yet. YET being the operative word. That little bit of pounch could very well be breakfast, but it’s far more adorable to say it’s the Sesame Seed, so let’s go with that, shall we? Also, these pants make my butt look adorable. James concurs. I love these pants.

But not nearly as much as I love this shirt. The Slit Neck Tree Tee. My new biffle. It’s suitable for just about every occasion, and I’ve really been driving that point home this week. It’s the most comfortable, stretchy, glorious tee, and will easily accommodate that ever-changing belly for months to come. Lounge wear. PJs. Exercise clothing. A quick trip to the store. Under a blazer at work. I kid you not, I’ve found ways to incorporate it into just about every outfit I’ve worn this week. I’m a sucker for extra long sleeves, so this item easily jumped to the top of my wardrobe rotation when its sleeves came grazing down past my wrists. Swoon!

James had to demand I remove it from my person after spin class yesterday, when it was spotted with sweat stains and carrying the aura of my B.O. I fought his demands, but ultimately caved when the stench got too much for even myself to bear. Le sigh. I will miss you Slit Tree Tee. Until laundry day comes, I shall miss you!

Pregnancy hormones are brutal on one’s balance. We’ll see how long I’m able to successfully hold this pose while continuing to showcase my Blue Steel face. (That’s actually a look of utmost concentration and desperation to hold still, but it’s very Zoolander).

I still feel like I am perpetually hungover, and am so looking forward to a time where I don’t feel on the verge of slumber every single moment, of every single day. Gestating is exhausting, y’all. And nauseating. I wish I had something more squishy, and adorable, and precious to report, but sadly, the 1st trimester is not the most exciting of times. I’m focusing on getting through it in the hopes that the nausea and constant tiredness subside when I hit the 2nd trimester. PLEASE OH PLEASE! They did with Addison, so I am holding out hope that that is the case.

My greatest focus this month has been on that sweet first born. The realization that these are the last months of her life as an only child have hit me hard, and I am trying to take it all in. Right now, she can be the center of my universe, without any interruptions or distractions (aside from the occasional afternoon nap; and yes, that would be me napping, not her.) We can snuggle, and read books, and play make believe with her stuffed animals, and feed the dogs, and splash in the tub, and color, and do all those wonderfully simple things that define childhood, with all my attention directed her way. It’s crazy to think that I’ll be a mother of two come summer, and while I know it will bring more joy than I can even imagine, and that a younger sibling will be such a magical gift for Sunny, I am trying to soak up these days of simplicity. I am trying to cherish this time where it can be just me and her, together. I am trying to be present.*

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*See? I told you that be present was the perfect brand for this project.

**Do you want to win the super awesome Slit Tree Tee that I’m wearing?!? Of course you do! Jump on over to Green Eyed Monster to enter!

***Photos: Courtesy of Kate Drew Miller Photography
I cannot thank Kate enough for taking on this project with me. She rocks. Truly.

****Clothes: Courtesy of be present
Please, head on over to Facebook and ‘like’ the heck out of this awesome company. And if you’re on Twitter, why don’t you give ‘em a follow? And you can check out their whole line and subscribe to their newsletter by heading over to www.bepresent.com.

******Click the links if you missed Month 1 or the details about my partnership with be present.