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These two

My Ursa. My Mother.

These two are playing and snuggling in my heart and in the stars.

This week has been hard. The grey, rainy, dreary weather has reflected my mood. As Mother’s Day barrels down upon me, I find myself weighted down with melancholy and sadness. I’ve been combatting it with friends and family, and baby smiles, and yoga, and therapy, but it’s there, hanging over me. And it’s supposed to be. It doesn’t get better, it just gets different. I’m learning how to exist in a world without my mother. And that never won’t be hard. I’ll just learn to manage it. To live with it. Like all of us who face the world each morning without the woman who made us who we are. We adapt, adjust, and self-care. That’s all we can do. It never won’t be devastating. I will simply learn how to cope with that devastation and live with the beauty and sadness of a world without her.

She had the gift of stopping time & listening well so that it was easy to hear who we could become & that was the future she held safe for each of us in her great heart & you may ask, what now? & I hope you understand when we speak softly among ourselves & do not answer just yet for our future is no longer the same without her.

– StoryPeople

18/52

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2016.”

Sunny: So proud of her new pair of TIE sneakers. While it makes getting out the door a considerably longer process, she is so dang thrilled to be able to tie her own laces.
Kaki: THE HILL ARE ALIVE… with the sound of Kaki. (Hot dang we live in a beautiful place. So grateful to have this in our backyard, especially these last few months. Walks among this scenery have been therapeutic for all of us).
Sander: Not at all aligned with his sisters’ portraits, but an adorable snap that features his budding mohawk and the fact that he is already busting out of 6 month clothing at the age of 8 weeks. 

More details about The 52 Project here. To view all the portraits in the series visit here.

17/52

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2016.”

Sunny: On a sunny Saturday stroll before a week of rain and grey and yuck.
Kaki: Not thrilled at the prospect of a long walk, but she quickly turned around that pout after a few minutes of running in the sunshine. “Mama, this WAS actually a fun walk with our WHOLE family!”
Sander: Looking very very milk drunk, but showcasing a hat from my knitting extravaganza before he was born.

More details about The 52 Project here. To view all the portraits in the series visit here.

Sander Smiles

When he smiles, I smile. When I smile, he smiles. And it is the best possible therapy on a rainy grey Sunday.