One Month (and counting)

by Ashley Weeks Cart

35 weeks

One month from today is my official Guess Date for this little one’s arrival. While battling a hideous cold turned sinus infection, slash the onslaught of a particularly gross round of conjunctivitis, I’ve been spending my days in bed looking at old photos and videos of when the girls were first born. It makes me all the more excited to welcome that squishy, Mr. Magoo face into our family in a month or so.

The girls excitement is particularly wonderful. They attended a “Sibling Class” at the birthing suite of the hospital with a L&D nurse this weekend. They learned to diaper and swaddle and hold a newborn, and talked about life with an infant in the house. They also got a tour of the facility where Courtland was born and this little one will arrive. I think it helped Courtland, particularly, who has been rather nervous about what is going to happen when I go into labor.

Admittedly, they’re both curious. Sunny asked me after school yesterday if I was nervous to have this baby born. I explained that I wasn’t nervous, per se, but that there was always some anxiousness about birth, as I have absolutely no control of when baby decides s/he wants to arrive. It could be in two weeks or six. It could be in the middle of the night or the middle of the grocery store. It could be lightening fast or long and hard like her birth.

Birth has definitely been on my mind and I’ve been revisiting not only my own experiences but those I’ve witnessed since. I am wishing and willing for an experience more in line with Courtland’s than Sunny’s, but recognize that this babe and I will go through something entirely our own. And I do not get control or say over when or how it happens, only in how I respond and react in the moment. I’m trying to not overthink or dwell too much, as it does me no good. I’ve got a wonderful birth team assembled – complete with James, a doula, a birth photographer, and Kaki’s Fairy Godmother who is stepping up because in all likelihood my sister will not be able to be present for this baby’s arrival due to her teaching schedule. She was by my side for the girls’ births – and I know the comfort that I personally find in being surrounded and supported by people I love and trust during those vulnerable, powerful moments of birth. While I hope this one is speedy like her 2nd born sister, I’m preparing myself for whatever comes our way.

And I am so looking forward to those early hours where I first get a glimpse at the wide-eyed gaze of this new little life and person. Making all these months, and particularly these final weeks, of discomfort and inconvenience, well well worth it.

Here are the girls in their first hours of life when we got some legit face time with their sweet mugs and those wide eyes.