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Month: September, 2014

Currently Gawking

“Thank you Moms for the most trying year of your life.”

And then I cried my face off.

Cape Cod Summer // 2014

Given all of our various summer commitments, we wound up only finding one weekend when all four of us were able to visit my family on Cape Cod. The girls had a weekend all to themselves on the Cape with my parents in July, and I snuck in some time there on either end of my trip to Sweden, but we were grateful to have one full weekend of family beaching and boating Cape Cod style. And the weather sure cooperated. Experience tranquility on the water with this Coleman canoe. Known for their stability and durability, Coleman canoes are suitable for fishing, exploring, or simply enjoying a peaceful day on the water. Don’t miss out on this chance to make lasting memories!

We spent a full day in my sister’s world in Woods Hole, enjoying her tugboat in particular. And then had a beach day at my parents’ beach which is so private and uncrowded and lovely. I only wish we’d had more time by the sea as a family.

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^^Kimmy’s summer cottage is a riot – complete with tiki bar.^^

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^^Headed out on the tugboat, ready to go under the itty bitty drawbridge.^^

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^^Seriously, the cutest wooden boat I ever did see. They’ll be many more pix of her tomorrow.^^

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^^A SHELLY BUTTON! Har har har.^^

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^^Ice cream on the docks (where all these sister, sister pix were snapped.)^^

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^^Gladdy’s inaugural ocean swim.^^

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^^Hanging in Momar and Doda’s backyard.^^

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^^Vroom. Vroom!^^

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^^Happy retrievers at the beach.^^

85mm f/1.2

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This weekend was well, less a weekEND and more a weekmarathon? weekbatshitcrazy? weekashleyovercommittedherself? weekholyfuckiamtired?

Yeah. All of the above.

It’s Sunday night, and I’m already asking, “Is it Friday yet?”

Which isn’t even a fair question, considering I have another work-centric weekend before me beginning Thursday night running through Saturday night.

This fall is on steroids, y’all.

I am (as always) ever so grateful to my parents who swooped in and took care of all of our dependents chez Cartwheel Farm, freeing up James to support me in all of my work madness. I had “day job” related work and events to run Friday night into Saturday, and then a wedding to shoot Saturday night, and then “Nutcracker” auditions to attend with my Kindergartener on Sunday.

(Side note: Sunny will be carrying on her mother and auntie’s legacy as a reindeer in her inaugural performance of this ballet classic. Kimmy and I will be front and center at every performance (as in multiple, yes). Bring on the holiday cheer!)

For this weekend’s wedding, I rented some insane camera lenses as it was an evening affair, held indoors, so I knew I’d be shooting in very different lighting than usual. I’ve had my eye on the Canon 85mm f/1.2 for some time, and man, it sure did live up to every possible expectation. (Which would explain the sticker price and why it is sadly not in my camera bag on the regular. Until I can afford to take the plunge, I’ll be turning to Borrow Lenses for all future photography gigs.) It has to be returned tomorrow, so James had fun snapping some images around the farm (while I lay on the couch eating nachos and demanding foot rubs from my children. Please don’t judge my attempts at self-care).

James, too, was smitten. I think you can see why…

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37/52

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“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2014.”

Sunny: In her Kindergarten classroom there is a behavior chart in the form of a seascape. Each child is represented as a bubble, and they move throughout the seascape each day depending on how they are behaving. If you are having a “bad day,” or “not listening,” or “can’t keep your hands to yourself,” you get moved to “stormy seas,” or “high and dry” or (the worst one of all according to Sunny) “ship wrecked.” If, however, you are being a good listener or helping the teacher or doing the activities or being a good friend, you get moved “up,” as Sunny describes, to different sea creatures of which the Starfish is apparently the greatest honor.

Sunny was very excited to show us this chart at her back-to-school night for parents this week and declared that she had never been down, and that she’d even reached “Starfish” level a number of times. While putting her to bed that evening, she said, “Mama, I never want to be down. I’m going to work really hard to be good and listen to Mrs. Berard so I can always be up.” And man, how I am simultaneously so proud but also so aware that she is fitting that stereotypical firstborn need for affirmation and the pressure to be good, to be responsible, to be a leader. While it is a wonderful trait, I want her to feel that she is safe to make mistakes and falter every now and then. Some of life’s greatest lessons come from failing. All of us have shipwrecked days, and I’ll love her just the same, even when she’s navigating stormy seas. (I may have taken the Kindergarten metaphor a little too far.)

Kaki: This week, she moved into a new classroom at her school. She is now in her first official year of preschool, in a class referred to as “The Lambs.” When I picked her up on Thursday, I greeted her by saying, “Well hello my little lamb!” She looked at me very seriously and responded, “I am not a little lamb. I am a BIG lamb.” And ain’t that the truth.

More details about The 52 Project here. To view all the portraits in the series visit here.

Sister, Sister

I have a huge number of photos from our trip to Cape Cod in August that I have yet to share in this space. Sorting through them last night, I couldn’t help but laugh at these series of “sister” pix. The ones of the Sunny and Kaki are of course endearing and sweet and hilarious. But it’s the ones of me and Kimmy that I find even more hysterical as not only are we grown women wearing matching outfits gifted to us by our mother, but we are unintentionally mimicking one another’s facial expressions in each photo.

Oh sisterhood. You are a weird (albeit special) thing indeed. May your weekend’s be filled with this kind of wonderful.

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Devita

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September 11th brings many people and feelings and memories to the fore of my thoughts, a day of such loss and fear and broken innocence, but no thought more profoundly than my love and admiration for my brave, inspiring friend, Devita.

Today Devita shared this on her FB wall, and I wanted to share it with you all here so that perhaps you are inspired to Pay It Forward in honor of a fallen hero: “Say not in grief he is no more, but live in thankfulness that he was.” It’s still hard to fathom that it’s been 13 years since that fateful day at the Pentagon that changed my family’s life and even harder to think that I’ve “outlived” my big brother by 7 years. Nonetheless, I know he’s proud of the woman I’ve become and I am honored to be able to share his life with those whom I know & interact (be it virtually or physically). To honor his life and legacy, I ask that each of you pay a favor forward today as this was Romeo’s mantra and the way he lived his life. So whether it’s buying a drink for a stranger at the bar or holding the door open for someone or paying for the car behind you’s toll, please pay a favor forward and share my brother’s story as a way to keep his memory alive. And for those of you who had the privilege to know Romeo, you know he’s partying it up somewhere – so take a drink for and with him And lastly, thank you from the bottom of my heart for the ongoing support and love. #WeRemember #Sept11 #NeverForget

She visited us on the farm in late May, and spent the weekend as part of the family, playing with the girls, planting seedlings in the garden, painting the porch, bonding with Gladdy (Devita knew Ursa from day 1, and is the dog that helped Devita find her own love of canines), taking selfies with farm life (see the final images below) and generally snuggling and drinking beer and laughing and just being. How I miss the days when we shared an office and a quick 2 minute walk divided our apartments. I am grateful for many things today, but above all, today I am grateful for a friendship with this inspiring soul.

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^^Devita gifted Sunny that tutu and Kaki that outrageously cute sunsuit of smocked octopus.^^

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Bengtsfors

My final post about Sweden (for now at least!).

The day after Maja’s wedding, we retreated to her parents’ home nearby in the Swedish countryside with her nuclear family. I had stayed at this home my freshmen year of college when I flew to Sweden to visit Maja during my spring break. I will admit that the beautiful summer weather made this trip even better than my visit in March of 2002. Maja’s mother is an avid gardener so I was completely drooling over her amazing gardens and fruit bushes. Her kitchen is filled with jams and pickled produce and everything fresh and homemade pulled directly from the backyard. Incredible!

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^^Lingonberries abound! In every possible color, in pure abundance!^^

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^^Find Kimmy’s body prostrate in the lawn, still recovering from our 7am “bed” time.^^

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^^We consumed leftover hotdogs from the bar the night before as our afternoon pick-me-up.^^

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^^Maja’s sister’s flatcoat Sigue joined the fun! Oh my favorite dogs in the world – he was so happy at the lake.^^

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^^We all went swimming in the lake in her parents’ backyard. The whole scene felt like a Wes Anderson film.^^

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^^The only photo of me and Maja “solo” is this ridiculous image. My rear end and Maja’s face after submerging in the chilly water. Pretty priceless actually.^^

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^^Maja and Lars opened wedding gifts while we sipped champagne. They were deliriously happy it would seem.^^

That evening, we enjoyed another outrageous culinary experience prepared by Maja’s mom and brother. Traditional Swedish crayfish covered in buttery, garlicky goodness, fresh vegetables, deer, moose, and more cake and wine than we could possibly handle. We all visited and enjoyed our final hours all together, basking in all the fun and happiness of the past 48 hours. The next day we bid our farewells and boarded a train back to Stockholm.

Oh what a trip! I feel so lucky to have had such a grand adventure with my baby sister and to have such an incredible friendship to inspire such a journey. Until next time!

How do we like them apples?

Apparently, quite a bit.

We’ve been picking fresh apples from the same orchard five years running. It’s fun to see how the kids have grown through the experience.

In 2011, James and I were on paternity/maternity leave so we visited more than once. Look at Mohawk baby Courtland!

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If you’re ever in the Northern Berkshires in September, do make a visit to Lakeview Orchard. Arguably the best cider donuts in the area.

Maja & Lars

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This wedding was celebrated nearly two months ago, and I am finally recapping the experience. While the summer was a whirlwind, part of my delay in sharing is likely because I’ve been marinating in its splendor for weeks, hesitant to share with the world for fear that I couldn’t possibly do it justice. And I surely won’t, but this is a small something I can help remember it by for decades to come.

It was truly one in a million – the kind of experience I couldn’t even fathom because it was beyond any expectation or dream.

I knew that Kimmy and I were going to have the time of our lives, and it exceeded even that.

Thank you my darlings, Maja and Lars, for letting us share in the magic. We love you to the ends of the Swedish countryside and back and back again. Puss.

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^^You just don’t find churches like this is the U.S. The painted wood carvings and plethora of lit candles particularly stole my heart. (Side note: Growing up, I longed for a ceiling painted blue with clouds and for my 16th birthday, my parents surprised me with just that. I was away on a school trip, and when I returned home, I had the bedroom ceiling of my dreams. This church sure sent me skipping down that memory lane!)^^

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^^The church rang the bells both as Maja entered the building at the start of the ceremony, and as Maja and Lars existed the church at its finale. They arrived on the steps of the church and everyone joyously threw rice and photographed and cheered for the happy couple. They stood there for quite some time as we all soaked in their newlywed status.^^

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^^The Polka Dot Ladies. Kimmy and Maja’s mum, Monica.^^

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^^We returned to Baldersnäs, where we sipped champagne and enjoyed caviar under the outdoor pergola. Maja made her own dress (of course). She found a vintage jacket from the early 1920s, that she inverted (the back became the front, the front, the back) and then added the skirt. Her mother is a hair stylist and expert gardener, so Maja’s hair and bouquet and wreath were all thanks to Monica. Maja truly looked like a whimsical woodland fairy – which is more fitting than you may realize. (The photo directly above is of Maja and her host parents from her year in the U.S. They raised children in the town in which I grew up, so Maja and I were thus in the same high school class. It was extremely special to have us all together for this occasion.)^^

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^^After cocktail hour, we ventured inside one of the barns of the estate, where the inside had been transformed by these airy sheet of fabric strung with flowers. Fresh flowers adorned an array of metal sculptures, including Maja and Lars’ initials and a series of hearts. ^^

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^^It’s tradition to sit at tables with no one you know. Couples, families and friends are divided, so you really have the opportunity to spend meaningful time getting to know new people over the course of the dinner.^^

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^^Each place setting included a menu created by Maja that outlined the extravagant courses that were to follow, and a master chart of all of the guests and how they were connected to one another. I am sorry to not have taken a photo of that chart.^^

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^^Dinner began around 7pm and we didn’t finish eating until after midnight. Family friends who own a local restaurant cooked the entire meal. We began with Dalsland tapas, that included smoked duck, moose, elk and even beaver. (Yes, I ate beaver. And yes, it was delicious). This course was paired with a red wine. We then moved to the main course of Moose and potatoes and seasonal veggies and a white wine. And next the cheese course, which always steals my heart, and showcased six locally made cheeses and a series of jams and fruits with a dessert wine. And lastly, a cake made by Maja’s friend (one of the daughters of the restaurant owners) that was layered with strawberries and cream and nuts and awesome. A selection of digestifs were served, of which a maple syrup bourbon was my personal favorite.^^

Over the course of this five hour extravagance, people rose to toast the new couple, and I loved the way that everyone was involved in the sharing of stories and celebration.

One of my favorite traditions transpired when Lars left the room to use the WC. As he departed, men began clanging their glasses, and rose to their feet and rushed the bride. All the men, and some women (How I love gender-nonconformity!) waited in line to give Maja a kiss. Had Maja excused herself during dinner, the reaction would have been similar from the female guests (and a few progressive males). Such fun. I would very much like to bring this tradition to the States.

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At midnight, the DJ fired up the music, the bar opened (as though we hadn’t sufficiently fueled ourselves with liquor during the dinner), and dance we did. At 2am, the bar started serving hot dogs with every drink. Apparently this is a Swedish tradition to keep guests energized on the dance floor. Kimmy and I were more than mildly enthralled and thrilled with this brilliant concept.

Oh, hot dog. Swedish classic.

I grabbed the photo above at the “darkest” moment of the night (as while the sun set, it never was fully dark). It was such a trip to dance from midnight until 5 o’clock in the morning, with the sun never truly gone. The day bled into the next and so we danced and danced as though it were all one in the same…

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At 5:30am, the DJ stopped the music, and those of us brave soldiers left on the dance floor headed for the lake where we swam and sauna-ed  and watched the sun continue to rise on the first day of the rest of their lives…

It’s a day I shall carry with me always.

Currently Reading

Don’t watch the Ray Rice video. Read this instead.

But in a world in which one in four women is the victim of intimate partner violence and black women are disproportionately targeted, this victim blaming is not just irresponsible; it is lethal…

If we viewed victims as more than a link to be tweeted, more than statistics to be reported to a broken criminal justice system, we would have to grapple with their complex humanity. We would have to offer meaningful solutions to violence, holistic responses to trauma, and accountability for abusers whom we may love. We would have to do more than just watch.