Such a happy weekend. The party in particular was a rainbow-filled success! And thank you weather gods for sunny skies despite your usual dumps of rain whenever I’m event planning in New England!
I have many pictures to process, but here is a very simple, quick peek at the party: Bouncing. Smiling. Facepainting. Rainbowing.
It was a great afternoon.
Dearest Sunny,
Earlier this week, I walked into the kitchen and found you perched at the table among a forest of brightly colored and varied blooms. You had selected a meticulous variety of vases and vessels in which to hold these vibrant treasures, and had filled each one with flowers in every color of the rainbow.
With permission, you’ve taken to plucking flowers from around our property and creating elaborate arrangements or crowns with which to adorn our home and your head. Given that when asked, you continue to inform people that rainbow is your favorite color, it should come as no surprise that your fifth birthday party theme was RAINBOW and that our table is often covered in RED, ORANGE, YELLOW, GREEN, BLUE and PURPLE (and yes, I do know how important the order of the rainbow is thanks to your constant reminders).
This particular afternoon was no exception.
I noticed that tucked between this rainbow of petals and vases were two rubber duckies placed side by side.
I casually asked you what you were up to, and you tensed slightly and explained:
Mama, my rubber duckies are getting married. It’s two girl duckies. But, mama, I know that a boy and a girl can get married. And a boy and a boy can get married. I promise that I’m not leaving anybody out, it just happens that both these duckies are girls.
And oh my heart, if that explanation, that moment, doesn’t capture the essence of who you are. I’m laid bare with a love and tenderness and respect so deep and so pure for the thoughtful, creative, kind, sensitive, sweet soul that you are and I have the pleasure of knowing and loving.
This year as been filled with moments such as this, and while I grapple with the magnitude of your fifth birthday, a milestone that seems almost too momentous for this mommy heart to bear, I am reminded of all the heart stoppingly beautiful moments that have been and all the gut-wrenchingly amazing moments that will be.
You are unapologetic, unprompted, and unfaltering in your declarations of love for your family. Above all else, I hope that you never lose that ability to tell the people that matter most in your life how much you love them.
I know that I’ll never stop telling you.
I love you, my Sun Bun, my Rainbow Kid, my Sunshine Girl.
You light up our lives.
Happiest Fifth Birthday.
143 Mama
Yesterday, we celebrated Sunny’s 5th birthday with her preschool class. In the three years that she’s been at this preschool, we have not once been in town to shower Sunny with some birthday love with her fellow preschoolers. We were grateful to grab 20 minutes when we could (finally) surprise her at school with some love and cupcakes.
Admittedly, I was disappointed in how the rainbow cupcakes that I’d prepared for the occasion had turned out. This was the vision. But in an effort to make homemade icing, I’d failed in a smooth and beautiful presentation (ugh, lesson learned, never be above store bought, prepared food for rare, large serving-sized events, even in the face of trans fats). And the candy rainbows were less than stunning when compared to my rainbow Pinterest board (DAMN YOU PINTEREST AND YOUR HIGH BAR!). I wallowed a bit in self-indulgent, self-pity, but upon stepping into that cafeteria filled with thrilled, smiling, eager faces I was reminded of what really mattered: It’s not about the presents, but the presence.
The kids were joyous at the prospect of cupcakes for snack, and notably impressed with the candy rainbows. Sunny beamed from ear to ear. Much like her father, she was quiet in the face of so much attention, but I noticed that as James and I prepared to leave after all the singing and eating and merrymaking, she crawled into each of our laps, flung her arms around our necks and whispered, I love you sooooo much.
The affection of one very happy kid, who loved the effort and our presence more than any pinable cupcake.
So, I know you’re excited the sun is out and you’ve brought down the pig and want to do a little photo sesh – #canineandtheswine – but I’m less than thrilled. In case you haven’t noticed, I have enough of a self image problem with this Elizabethan collar strapped ’round my neck, and while I appreciate that I now have super doggie hearing for all things directly in front of me, I really am not comfortable posing for your amusement at the expense of my self-dignity… not that self-image is a concern of yours given that you’re a human who wears Crocks.
Let’s be sensible here. You can’t seriously expect me to pose with a pig and a 9 month old puppy? It’s not civilized! I’m a grown bitch! I simply won’t let you force such disgrace.
Fine. Fuck you. But I’m feeding your Crocks to the pig.
(Many thanks to James for his superb canine translation. In exciting and semi-related news, Hanna’s stitches are out, which means no more Cone of Shame! She’s recovering beautifully, though we still have six weeks left of restricted play and exercise. The best news of all is that we can finally give her a much much needed bath. I’m sure she’d have comparable thoughts to the above for this news, but man, she really does stink.)
You are one of my favorite people in the entire Universe. You are so kind and thoughtful and sensitive, even at just 48 months of life. You’re so very in tune with people’s emotions, empathetic to the core, expressing sorrow when I shed a tear, offering aid when your sister is frustrated, giggling righteously when your daddy cracks a smile. This trait is so very admirable and dear. You feel things deeply, and while that will at times feel debilitating and overwhelming, it will make you an amazing friend, partner, sister and daughter. You already are.
Watching you engage with the world is a truly magical experience. If only we could hold on to our preschool lens for life. The world would be a far simpler, more beautiful place. We’d take time in the evening to listen to the frogs outside our window. We would revel in the simplicity and joy of a balloon or a swing or our bare feet in a cold stream. We’d dance like no one’s watching, even in the middle of the grocery store. We’d ask why. We’d be curious about the world around us. We’d sit around the dinner table as a family and talk about our day. We’d even ask the dogs how they spent their day. We’d turn old boxes into castles and pillows into clouds. Our greatest concern would be what bows to put in our pigtails and what crayons to pack in our backpack. We’d spend our days drawing and reading and swinging and snuggling and eating Gold Fish and splashing in a nightly bath. We’d say I love you, freely, all the time. Whether it be to our blanket or our doggie or our favorite stuffed animal or our party shoes or our Mommy, Daddy and little sister.
Regardless of my conflicted feelings on your age, the fact remains that you are a growing and brilliant little girl. One who daily amazes her parents with her laughter and story-telling, her kisses and make believe. This past month, the house has been transformed by your burgeoning imagination. Daddy and I watch in awe as you make up fantastical tales stacking your blocks, or pushing your stuffed animals in your rocking horse, or sitting contentedly with your books, page after page relaying stories based on the images you see within. It is truly remarkable that you are capable of such dreams, and word on the street is that these fantasies will only become more fantastic and awe-inspiring as you get older.
You have turned our worlds upside down and brought us more joy than I could have ever imagined. Daddy and I have grown closer by your presence. By seeing each other reflected in you and your beaming personality. I feel no yearning or nostalgia for my former life, as you and your constant and rapid growth keep my head turned forward. In one year, you have made all the difference. You have made a family.
I love everything about this. Especially because during the height of my breastfeeding days, I wrote pointedly about this struggle. Most notably here and here.
Would you eat here? By law, breastfeeding mothers are not protected from harassment and refusal of service in public, often forcing them to feed in secluded spaces such as public bathrooms. Contact your state and/or local representative to voice your support for breastfeeding mothers, because a baby should never be nurtured where nature calls.
More information about the When Nurture Calls campaign here.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I’m moving to Sweden. Especially if James and I plan to expand our family further (jury’s still out on that one). When it comes to all things Maternity, Pregnancy and Infancy, the USA is most definitely not #1. And what saddens me most is that we’re at the bottom of the barrel. Women and families are distressingly undervalued in this country.
Sunny’s feeling pretty dang happy that she’s made so many other people happy with all these ridiculous chick pix.
Last night, we transitioned the flock up to the barn. They’re still living in an oversized dog crate with a brooding lamp inside the chick coop – but they are too big and smelly and flighty to be dwelling inside our home any further. We’ve been letting them spend their days frolicking in the Peck and Play, which simultaneously helps us prep our raised beds for planting (they scratch and poop and generally help get the soil better fertilized and primed for epic vegetable growth). And now, they’ll hang up in the barn with the full sized hens by night. It’s a good stepping stone to get the hens acclimated to the new flock. We won’t integrate them until the chicks are larger and better able to defend themselves (as the larger hens may not be so thrilled with their new coop-mates), but all of us (save Sunny) were ready to get the birds out of the house and up to the coop where they are better suited for the longterm.
They are in the supremely awkward adolescent phase – half fluff/half feathers. Some of the breeds are flightier and less friendly than others. These four Blue Cochins are still delightfully mellow and easy to handle, so they are Sunny’s current favorites. The Rhode Island Reds are proving quite mischievous. We wasted a solid twenty minutes chasing one around the vegetable garden when she decided to fly up and out of the Peck and Play before we’d secured the top. Never a dull moment here at Cartwheel Farm.
Sunny’s wearing this dress (though her particular pattern is no longer in stock) by Tea Collection, courtesy of her Fairy Godparents. We let her open their birthday gift Monday morning, knowing it was new clothing that she could proudly wear during her birthday week. Dellie and Jeremy, she’s now worn this outfit two days in a row. And she’s using the silver and gold shoe laces as a belt. She’s one very happy kid, indeed. THANK YOU!
Sunny and I and the flock of baby chicks are featured in Huffpost today.
As the chicks keep bringing the cute… and the media… I slip deeper and deeper into crazy chicken lady status. Feels fairly appropriate.
My conversation with Sunny about the media blast went as follows:
Me: Sunny! We’re featured in Huffpost today!
Her: Mama, I don’t even know what that means. Please show people my crown of bows that I made since my flower crown wilted. That’s way more exciting. (Behold said bow crown here).
Huffpost article here. Thanks for helping to share the chick love!
