Blog a la Cart

I have Interest ADD.

It’s how I’ve taken to describing my tendency to move from one activity, project or idea to the next in mere minutes, if not seconds. I rarely let ideas marinate and stew. I’m an instant gratification kind of person, and I tend to jump in feet first without thinking through the full reality of whatever that allegedly gratifying thing is. Whether that’s a sewing project. Or reorganizing the girls’ closets. Or a photo shoot. Or painting the house. Or reupholstering the furniture. Or a blog post. Or making dinner.

Name something I do in my daily life, and I can promise you that by the time I’ve begun whatever it is, I’m already thinking about the next task or goal at hand.

I’ve always said that I am good or decent at many many things, but not excellent at anything. It’s clear that I’ve never allowed myself the time, practice and patience to be excellent. I’m too busy moving on to my next wild idea before properly engaging with the one I’ve got strewn about the floor, or kitchen, or cursing page.

I love that I have interest in such a wide variety of things, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found that I am craving the ability to tackle a project fully, undistracted and focused. To feel truly satisfied and proud of whatever that project or vision is. Whether it’s as simple as painting my nails or cooking a meal. Or as grand and wild as completely renovating a part of our home or getting my children’s book about Ursa not just published for the creatures of Cartwheel Farm, but for the world.

I need to learn to slow down. To be willing to say no to myself. To pause and reflect and let those ideas dance around for awhile before attempting them. And be okay if they don’t come to fruition now, or ever. And to recognize that many dreams take time, and practice, and patience before they can be realized.

Maybe that’s what my 30s can teach me. That my thoughts don’t have to be turned into instant action. That it’s okay to have space. And quiet. And pause.

I can’t say that it’ll be easy, or that there aren’t many benefits to my natural inclination to act with immediacy and enthusiasm – but I want to work on this. For myself. Because life is all about balance, and 2014 is going to be a great teacher. I can tell…