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On Blogging

Of late, I’ve received a handful of emails from readers asking me about blogging, how I got started, what advice I might have, what resources or skills are needed, etc. I thought it might be helpful to share those thoughts here for anyone else interested.

I’ll preface this by saying, I don’t have any great pearls of wisdom or secrets to share. Blogging has always been a really organic, natural endeavor for me. I haven’t looked anywhere for any particular skill set, but just write and post what is of interest and has caught my attention. I think formulaic blogs that are trying to adhere to any specific set of “rules” wind up being uninteresting and a replica of what already exists out in the great wide world of blogging. This blog has evolved and shifted and grown over the years. I write and post differently than I did when I got started. I let the blog be a reflection of my own evolution and growth and that has been a treasure to look back on as I think about the past four years and the ways my family has changed and developed. The ways that I have changed and developed.

If you want to blog, do it from the heart. I know that sounds trite, but the space can only thrive if you are excited and invested in what you’re putting out into the world. It should be your authentic voice and perspective. Something uniquely you. That’s what will keep you interested and will ultimately keep visitors interested. I have no rules. No blogging skills. Just a desire to put my voice out into the world from my particular lived experience. It started as a way to document my daughter’s life – but has evolved into a creative outlet and sounding board for whatever I am thinking about or inspired by. And that’s what keeps me posting everyday.

You can certainly seek out advice for blogging platforms (I love and use wordpress) and tricks for linking to social media, etc. (Mashable is a great resource),  but ultimately, the space needs to come from a natural, organic, authentic place to keep you invested and excited. Connecting with other bloggers can be crucial in helping to build a community and support network, and in expanding your readership, but network with those with whom you feel a genuine connection and interest, not because you think they’re the “right” bloggers to “get to know.” The only book I’ve read (because I was gifted it at BLOGSHOP (a great class if you’re looking to do more graphic design related work with your blog)) was Joy Cho’s book Blog, Inc. It addresses some of the logistical realities of blogging, but ultimately, the space needs to be from your own inspiration and passion.

Go with your gut. Don’t worry about who is reading or following along. For instance, I went back and looked at my Google analytics, which I didn’t install on the site until November of 2010 (after over a year of blogging) and I had around 50-100 visitors a day, and that’s after 16 months of posting! This past November, however, I had an average of 2,500 readers a day. Hooray for growth! But that’s three years in, and still relatively small peanuts compared to many “professional” bloggers. I don’t inhabit this space to garner a massive following – although I am enjoying having a larger, broader audience to engage with – I’m doing it for myself, for my own sanity and creativity, and for my girls to one day look back on and better understand their childhood and their mother. The gradual growth this blog has seen has certainly come from efforts on my part to share with other bloggers, to have my posts linked to by certain sites, but it mostly comes from a consistency of investment and passion. My desire to visit everyday and put something new out into the world. If you blog from a place of genuine interest, the readers will come in their own time and you’ll stay inspired no matter who is listening.

And with that, I would like to say thank you to all of you that share in this space with me. It may be a relatively small group compared to the mega-bloggers of the Internets, but your presence, comments, emails, and words of encouragement have helped fuel this space these past (four!) years. Thank you with all my heart for sharing in my little community. 143 Ash

Images: Courtesy of Holden Hays

Currently Reading

Thanks to reader, Rosa, for sharing this counterpoint to Dove’s ‘Real Beauty Sketches’ campaign. This post raises an important critique of the campaign, and while I still value what Dove accomplished, it draws attention to some critical areas for improvement and thought, especially in how we talk to women (people!) about beauty and how we’re defining it. When I think about beauty, I’m approaching it from a holistic, self-esteem perspective. I want my girls to feel confident and beautiful about who they are, inside and out, however that manifests itself. It’s about being content in your place in the world, about valuing that place, and how you fit into it. And while superficial beauty still plays an overly crucial role in how we feel about our self-worth, I think that the message that strangers, or other people, perceive us as more “beautiful” plays a part in enhancing self-respect beyond skin-level. Clearly, there is so much work to be done on that front, but I continue to admire the effort from Dove to broaden our concept of beauty and self-image, even if its imperfect with room-for-improvement (an apt metaphor for all of us in regard to this topic).

The Language of Flowers // 2

Last week was my mother’s birthday, and given my recent post acknowledging her love of flora and literature, we gifted her a copy of The Language of Flowers and requested that she decode her other gift using its contents. The arrangement we sent her includes Iris, her favorite flower. They mean “message” which is a tad ambiguous, but could suggest the birthday message that we were sending her way by its inclusion. The Ginger is wildly out of place, but I was limited to what the florist had available and wanted to include that feeling of “strength.” I’m working with my dad’s iPhone snaps, but I think you get the vision. I look forward to many more meaningful arrangements put together thanks to this dictionary.

Sugaring

Two weekends ago, after a long, busy work weekend, we headed over to a friend’s house for a Sunday of maple sugaring. We did this two years ago, and it was such a treat to return to the sugar house this spring. I really don’t think much of spring in New England. It’s muddy, grey, raw, and gross. YUCK! Maple sugaring is one of the few activities that redeems this season. There’s just something about cozying up in the sugar house, wood stove roaring, sipping hot sap from paper cups while visiting with friends that warms the spirit. Such a special tradition. We feel very lucky to have taken part.

It was particularly fun to watch the girls so actively participate in the process. We collected sap from the buckets and it took much restraint to keep Courtland from climbing into them like a Newfoundland pup to a water bowl. She couldn’t get enough of tasting the sweet, clear liquid. And Addison raced from tree to tree looking for buckets filled with sap.

We also taught Sunny how to tap a tree. She cranked and cranked and drilled and drilled and got her own bucket filling with the good stuff.

It was the perfect Sunday. We were transported to a simpler, sweeter time. Something I hope we’ll preserve for our daughters for springs to come.

Currently Gawking

You are more beautiful than you think. (Thank you, Dove).

The Helpers

Yesterday afternoon, I escaped from the house, from my computer, from the noise, and the fear, and the chaos, and the bravery, and the helping, and sought comfort and clarity on a walk with my children. We headed up the hill to bid adieu to our friends who were in town this weekend for an unbelievable show at MASS MoCA. As they loaded up their van, Sunny offered a helping hand.

Children provide such perspective and peace during times of uncertainty and terror. I know that this quote has been shared and shared and shared again, but it’s what I keep circling back to when my mind strays and tears well. It’s what I cling to in the face of such devastation:

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ – Mister Rogers

I am so grateful for my own little helper, for all the helpers. And I’m holding my home city in my heart.

Hey, Hey

Thank you, Evan, for this poem. The perspective from a student who was present at our wedding nearly five years ago, as James sang with his a capella group during cocktail hour. A beautiful memory when my thoughts have been so clouded.

I stood there and watched
this brotherhood of men
(they were my brothers,
men who were young
from any perspective but mine),
I watched them stand
in an arc,
in a gallery
at Mass MoCA,
and serenade the bride
with the groom’s song.
It was a song from five years ago,
a song he’d sung to her then, too,
and I thought to myself:
this is the love I’ll have,
years from now,
for you.

15/52

“A portrait of my children, once a week, every week, in 2013.”

Sunny: Our little monkey.
Kaki: Our little ham.

It’s been a week of no sleep all thanks to colds and fevers and faucet noses dragged home from Kaki’s first weeks at school. The nights are filled with lots of moans and frustration and fitfulness. But the mornings are a refreshing reminder of why we’ve chosen to live on fewer hours of rest. These faces are well worth the sleep deprivation.

More details about The 52 Project here. To view all the portraits in the series with explanations as to why I’ll be capturing the portraits in the early morning, visit here.

Zizi!

James’ grandmother is one of my favorite people in the Universe. She is incredibly kind, and generous, and thoughtful, and polite, and gentle, and has an endearing Bermudian accent that enhances all of these delightful qualities. She has always made me feel like a welcome and included member of the family, and for that, I am eternally grateful. I love her so.

And that feeling and all that goodness has of course been extended to our daughters. While she can no longer travel, Zizi often sends surprise gifts or goodies for the girls. Most recently, that resulted in these two comfy chairs (from here) embroidered with COURTLAND and ADDISON for the girls’ playroom. Of course, the enormous stuffed dogs that they received from Zizi this Christmas are the perfect “blankets” while they cozy up in their new chairs.

My only fear is that our little house may run out of room for these grand gestures of affection. But we’re adapting to accommodate the love, and dang it’s adorable.

Sister Match

One of the most enjoyable aspects of parenting two sisters is, for the time being (when they can’t really have opinions otherwise), dressing them in matchy matchy outfits. I tend not to do identical replicas of one another’s ensembles, but variations on a theme. Kimmy and I have memories of our mother doing the very same thing throughout our childhoods. It’s a Mama’s Prerogative.

This Easter, Kimmy and I totally played the nostalgia card, and sent Momar not so subtle hints that we would like her to consider returning to this pastime of purchasing matching dresses for her almost 30 and 28 year old daughters.

For whatever reason, she humored our requests and surprised us on Easter weekend with this Ace & Jig dress that Kimmy and I were both coveting. Hard.

The girls wore matching Sailor Rose dresses generously gifted from Ghillie, James’ mom, for Easter. While the dresses are from two different brands, they both reference Confetti in their pattern descriptions.

It was fate.

So we had to document the matchy matchy confetti-explosion. Let’s hope the grandmothers think this tradition is worth upholding for all future holiday celebrations! We don’t mind in the least.