Blog a la Cart

I’ve probably mentioned it here before, but the Cart household is sans television.

This is a very deliberate choice. Not only does it save us financially, but James and I have relatively strong feelings about television. Bottom line: We want it in our daughters’ lives as minimally as possible.

We’re not naive. We know that they will be exposed to it. Our family and friends have cable. They’ll have friends with cable. But that doesn’t mean that we have to exacerbate that exposure by having it in our own household.

Also? It’s not like we don’t have Internet. I figure that that kind of access is going to be a big enough challenge to manage, why throw TV on top of the heap of media noise.

My biggest beef with TV is the commercials, not the shows.

Believe you me, I still get my fill of Parenthood and Modern Family and Up All Night (picking up on a theme, are we?) thanks to the wonders of Hulu, I installed my tv on a corner tv wall mount so I can watch it from my bed. But I watch those in the evenings, after the kids are in bed. Why? Because I don’t need my almost-three year old watching sexed up women selling alcohol or stereotypical portrayals of mothers hawking minivans. She’ll experience these gendered messages enough as it is without the added noise at home.

Which is why I adore our streaming Netflix account. Sunny can watch Dora The Explorer to her heart’s content without all the commercial propaganda and pressure to want want want, buy buy buy and be a pretty little princess in pink.

That’s my boiled down summation of the market to preschoolers. And she’s already developed a propensity for pink thanks to her peers and preschool classroom. Lord knows I don’t need commercials from Nick Jr. and Disney adding to the mess.

Of course, Dora comes with her own baggage as soon as we enter the grocery store. That little explorer knows how to sell shit. We try to stick to the periphery of the store where the food is fresher and the packaging riddled with mass media is more limited, but OH MAN! <spoken a la Swiper the Fox>, it’s unbelievable the power Dora’s face has on Sunny. Want want want. Buy buy buy. Pink pink pink. And she’s not even THREE! I could forbid her from watching shows altogether, but realistically, they also do her some good (I hear talking back to the show, dancing, speaking Spanish. All great things). And, if I’m being totally transparent, her time spent watching Dora gives me and James a break on a rainy day or during the dinner hour when we need to cook a meal and know that our preschooler isn’t drawing on the furniture.

The other show that she adores is Thomas the Tank Engine, although its limited female characters breaks my heart. She hasn’t yet realized it, of course, but I’m sure the messaging is sinking in. Trains are male. Trains are for boys. Trains are strong and male and not for her. We’re doing our best to combat that and nurture her innate fascination with transportation (airplanes, trucks, cars, trains, boats. They all capture her attention out in the world), but as we’ve seen with her new preference for donning only pink clothing, peers and media and culture will often overpower our efforts.

I want our home to be a safe space. A haven from all the societal pressures and messages about who my daughters are supposed to be. Under my roof, I want them to be free to be. Just be.

It’s better than not trying, even if it doesn’t stop the onslaught completely.

And on that note, I recommend this video. With thanks to Emsa for sharing with me. And I’d love insights as to what else James and I can do to help shield our daughters from some of the constant noise. To make all of that media a little less saturated. Because no matter what we do, it’ll still be there. Lurking. Influencing. Wielding its patriarchal ideals and norms. *grumble*