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When I was little I was referred to as a “Circus Freak.”

I acquired this nickname for two reasons:

1. I had to wear orthopedic shoes to correct my pronated feet. And if you’ve ever seen orthopedic shoes circa 1988, you’d note that they’re clodhoppers distinctly resembling clowns feet.

2. I was born with my father’s ears, which meant that they were deformed due to an excess amount of cartilage and a lack of definition and folding that caused them to stick out. Way out. Much like Dumbo’s.

Elementary school was a rather tumultuous and awkward stage. Add in the colic front and center in my bangs and my hyper-extended knees, and I’m not surprised at all that the more mean-spirited kids landed on the nickname they did.

My parents did the best they could to disguise the ears that drew such negative attention. My mother cleverly used those circular, fabric headbands that were huge in the early 90s seven-year old subset to hold down the back tips of my ears. I also rocked bangs as thick as a Bible that my mother would wet and then hold down with Scotch tape to dry in an effort to prevent that pesky colic from peeking its way through the strands. There are next to no photos of me as a child with my hair pulled back. I was always jealous of my little sister’s collection of frilly bows and scrunchies that she used to style her hair in ponytails, braids, half up/half downs, and so on. Your smile is one of the first things others notice. Other times, a simple whitening might be all you need to transform your look and outlook on life. If you’ve been finding that your smile lacks the kind of brightness and quality that you really want, you’ve probably come across the field of cosmetic dentistry in your search for perfection.  Well what is cosmetic dentistry?  The answer is pretty simple.  It’s a mix of cosmetic gum re contouring and tooth enhancement, specifically developed to address the concerns of people unhappy with their smiles. Cosmetic dentistry provided by the Hardy Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics is easily affordably, so dramatically transform your entire look, and Doctor’s are experienced at preforming number of treatments depending on your wants, needs and goals. Sometimes fixing minor imperfections like cracks, chips and gaps with porcelain veneers can completely change everything.

There are four main groups of cosmetic dental procedures. Whitening focuses on improving the color of your teeth.  Bonding involves filling in minor chips and gaps. Veneers focus on changing the shape and appearance of your front teeth. And finally orthodontics can be used in conjunction with any of these procedures to first properly position the teeth.

Whitening

As we age our teeth naturally lose their white color.  Habits like drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes can make things worse by staining the teeth.  This can be reversed by a process known as whitening. (sometimes referred to as “bleaching”). It normally involves the application of a peroxide based gel or liquid to the surface of the teeth. The time involved depends on the strength and composition of the solution. Less intense whitening agents are available over the counter, the stronger more intense are only available through a Quest Dental services.

Bonding

Bonding is a quick and usually simple method of filling in minor chips and breaks in front teeth. A plastic like material known as composite resin can be chemically adhered or “bonded” to your teeth. Numerous shades are available so as to blend in with your natural tooth color. This resin in strong and durable but will discolor and need replacement in time.

Porcelain Veneers

A porcelain veneer effectively hides the tooth defects of your front teeth with a thin shell of porcelain adhered to the surface.  They can be used to cover up stains and chips, along with hiding spaces and gaps that may be present between your teeth. They can also be used to add length and more prominence to your natural teeth. They offer the most dramatic and longest lasting effect of any cosmetic dental procedure.

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It must have been when I started commenting on the hurtful nicknames sometime in 3rd grade that my parents mentioned that my dad had had similar flappy, large ears. They showed me a spread of pictures of my father as a gap-toothed elementary kid with his big ol’ Dumbo ears. Then they told me that when he was 10 he had had a surgery done to reform their shape so that they folded like your average ear. They added that there was nothing functionally wrong with my ears. It was just that, like Daddy’s, they hadn’t fully formed into the shape of a traditional ear.

They mentioned it. They didn’t demand or even suggest that I have the same surgery performed. They merely planted the seed that such a thing was a possibility for someone like me.

My mother said it was a tricky balance, trying to educate me and let me know that they would be open to me having cosmetic surgery, without forcing such a decision before I had enough autonomy and understanding to weigh in on it.

Fourth grade came around and I became increasingly aware of the mean comments about my ears and my feet. My mother recalls that I walked up to her one day and asked if I could have the same surgery as Dad. Oh, and when the heck could we get rid of the clodhoppers?

I distinctly remember sitting in each session with the cosmetic surgeon discussing the procedure, learning that they would be reshaping all of the cartilage that I already had to create the folds. This is why I say cosmetic surgery, as there is nothing plastic or artificial about my ears today. It is all me, just with some help from a skilled doctor who completed the sculpting that had not been done in utereo.

During my session with the surgeon, I requested that the double ear lobe on my left ear remain intact. I wanted to keep that as my little reminder that my ears were different. Special. My mom said she cringed and thought, “What if she regrets that years from now and wishes she’d gotten that removed, too?” But, as the incredibly empowering woman she is, she remained silent, and let her nine year old advocate and dictate the terms under which the doctors approached my body.

To this day I am grateful to have that double ear lobe.

The month that I had to wear a ridiculous cast around my head was not an easy one. And the pain and then extreme itchiness of recovery was equally as vivid and hard. Most poignant is the noise of the surgeons reshaping my ears as I lay awake for the six hour procedure. Despite a healthy dose of “loopy meds” during the surgery, I can still recall the sounds of sucking, and cutting, and stitching.

My stomach just turned as I relived it.

It was not an easy decision. Nor an easy process. But it was worth it. I outgrew the taunts. I learned to rock a bun like you wouldn’t believe. I grew up to be confident and well-adjusted (as well-adjusted as one can ever be). And I have a profound respect for my parents in how they handled the entire process that led me to that moment.

I tell this story because last week Good Morning America ran a segment on a seven-year old who received the same surgery. My father forwarded me the link and asked, “Should we comment together?” as we are two individuals who have experienced a similar decision and process, and could weigh in on the experience quite personally.

I watched and was saddened by how the situation was portrayed. It was labeled as “plastic surgery” as though otoplasty were like a breast enhancement. I think of it more like a cleft palette. While cosmetic in nature, I do not see it as on the same playing field as most plastic cosmetic surgery. It’s a physical deformity that while not functionally problematic certainly poses social challenges.  I understand that it shouldn’t. That we should love and accept all people exactly as they are. That the problem is not the ears but the bullies. The mean-spirited kids that create nicknames such as “Circus Freak” or “Dumbo.” And while that is all valid and true, how realistic is it to expect a parent to watch their child be ridiculed when there is an opportunity to prevent it?. You can try here for Exceptional Dentistry & Aesthetics.

As a mother now, I know that if one of my children is born with ears like mine and my father’s that I will approach the situation exactly as my parents did. Empowering him or her to have a voice in the decision. Ensuring that that child feels loved and beautiful beyond any physical attributes. But if s/he asks for the surgery, I will give it willingly and without judgement or hesitation.

GMA asked on their Facebook page: Should kids get plastic surgery to combat bullying?

The phrasing of that question alone is troubling, but not nearly as troubling as some of the responses.

Ultimately, people should respect that a decision like this is not taken lightly. It is not easy. And, it is done with the child’s best intentions at heart.

I’m grateful everyday that my parents have the hearts they do.

Man I was a cute kid, but you can still see my deformed left ear.

See the double ear lobe and lack of folding?

This is truly the most awkward and magical family photo of all time. Check out those bangs! They sure do hide the ears (or at least distract from them).

My mother attempted to keep life normal, even when my head was covered in a cast. I don’t think “normal” is the word I would use to describe this photo, but hey, I look pretty darn happy.