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In honor of a Christmas “Wordless Wednesday”:

I know this shit is supposed to be wordless, but alas, I just must share a story regarding the shattered sprinkle-dispenser-of-Christmas-cookie-cheer.

I went to Target, a venture that the entirety of Los Angeles county shared, and braved the masses in the name of spirited, holiday baking decorations. All that was left in the name of sprinkles was this broken jar thrown in the back alley of the “holiday” area (read: Christmas section with a menorah or two thrown in for diversity’s sake). That’s what I get for doing things last-minute in the name of the baby Jesus’s birth. HOWEVER, because of the chaos and the looting and purging happening en masse like one big ol’ Christmas riot, tinsel flying, ornaments smashing, reindeer lawn paraphernalia being ridden like horses from the wild wild west, the lady at checkout let me take the sprinkles FOR FREE. Now, THAT, is some god damn Christmas cheer. Just look at those cookies.

And I’ve managed to offend the baby Jesus’s father. Crap. Merry Christmas, to all!